Dantian Creation

[MakBow]

So, for the novel I write on the side to help keep my mind fresh, a xianxia novel, I wrote my MC creating his Dantian.

Who do you think?

Context
He would draw qi from the surrounding area slowly, taking a deep breath and opening the meridians, and then gulping as if he were swallowing qi itself.

‘...!! So that’s what it feels like. Kind of…cold.”

This cold sensation he felt would start at its arms, going to the pores to enter the skin and his bones, entering directly into his meridians. This gave it a cold sensation within his body, causing him to shiver. He would then feel this sensation rise in his body, entering into his shoulder and ribs, going lower again into his belly area, his organs feeling cold now. And finally, it would accumulate in his stomach area.

He began to focus on this area, and from this, he felt a great pressure, as if an implosion was waiting to occur. It piled beneath his navel, layer after layer, until his breath shook. The pressure grew sharp, then unbearable, as if something inside him were being ground down.

With a silent crack, the pain peaked. The pressure collapsed inward, tearing a hollow into existence. He gasped as the qi surged into that emptiness, no longer raging but settling, heavy and real. Something had formed. Something fragile, but permanent.

 

[FRWriter]

Wait... a Dantian does not need to be created. It's just a body part. Usually, the main one is somewhere around the stomach.

Dantian is usually the place where you gather your QI. I have never written a story where a Dantian is created... that's like creating an arm.

The way you wrote it is fine, if a little dry and mechanical sounding, but at least in my experience, it doesn't quite make sense. The explanation would be for the MC to enter the first stage of cultivation, usually creating his first QI string or something like that.

 

[Grizzly18]

According to the internet the upper middle and lower dantian already exist in the bodies as the vessels which essence is taken and turned into qi. So maybe your lore can start with everyone having only one as an excuse to make one? I will say that in most wuxia manwha there’s only one dantian at least I think so. Pretty sure it goes something like bone cultivation, muscle, then skin, then onto spiritual cultivation where the core is made then expands to the whole body. Each level after that expands power thru made of stages of cultivation power. I don’t know it’s been awhile since I’ve heard the beginning of a wuxia.

Also if he’s essentially “eating” the qi of the world to form a dantian why is the coldness starting in his shoulder? Shouldn’t it start in his stomach?

Finally your third paragraph shouldn’t have a sentence that starts with And thats not proper grammar. It should also be more like, “Finally, it accumulated in his stomach.” Maybe get the free version of Grammerly. If English is your second language you’re doing okay but need some help and a spell checker. If it’s your native language you’re doing okayish and need to review your work for grammar and prose before posting stuff.

 

[MakBow]

Wait... a Dantian does not need to be created. It's just a body part. Usually, the main one is somewhere around the stomach.

Dantian is usually the place where you gather your QI. I have never written a story where a Dantian is created... that's like creating an arm.

The way you wrote it is fine, if a little dry and mechanical sounding, but at least in my experience, it doesn't quite make sense. The explanation would be for the MC to enter the first stage of cultivation, usually creating his first QI string or something like that.

Well, that's because my MC has a very crippled body (in the sense that his talent is low, the meridians are fragile, and his dantian was destroyed)

The thing is, I don't want it to be the exact same as every other story. I want to put my own twist on to it, so I want the dantian to instead be created through Qi gathering, which is the reason why there are not many cultivators in my world

In short, I want take what's there, keep most of it, but change a little so I can feel I did something different instead of copying everything else.

And it also adds risks since if you form it, it can be destroyed and that is extremely painful and can cripple your chances at cultivation.

According to the internet the upper middle and lower dantian already exist in the bodies as the vessels which essence is taken and turned into qi. So maybe your lore can start with everyone having only one as an excuse to make one? I will say that in most wuxia manwha there’s only one dantian at least I think so. Pretty sure it goes something like bone cultivation, muscle, then skin, then onto spiritual cultivation where the core is made then expands to the whole body. Each level after that expands power thru made of stages of cultivation power. I don’t know it’s been awhile since I’ve heard the beginning of a wuxia.

Also if he’s essentially “eating” the qi of the world to form a dantian why is the coldness starting in his shoulder? Shouldn’t it start in his stomach?

Finally your third paragraph shouldn’t have a sentence that starts with And thats not proper grammar. It should also be more like, “Finally, it accumulated in his stomach.” Maybe get the free version of Grammerly. If English is your second language you’re doing okay but need some help and a spell checker. If it’s your native language you’re doing okayish and need to review your work for grammar and prose before posting stuff.

Yeah, I already have Grammarly, it did nothing about it and yeah, English is my first language, I'm just still a rookie writer.

And the coldness starts at his arms because it goes through the meridians at arm, like veins, attached to his stomach area.

 

[Grizzly18]

Well, that's because my MC has a very crippled body (in the sense that his talent is low, the meridians are fragile, and his dantian was destroyed)

The thing is, I don't want it to be the exact same as every other story. I want to put my own twist on to it, so I want the dantian to instead be created through Qi gathering, which is the reason why there are not many cultivators in my world

In short, I want take what's there, keep most of it, but change a little so I can feel I did something different instead of copying everything else.

And it also adds risks since if you form it, it can be destroyed and that is extremely painful and can cripple your chances at cultivation.

Yeah, I already have Grammarly, it did nothing about it and yeah, English is my first language, I'm just still a rookie writer.

And the coldness starts at his arms because it goes through the meridians at arm, like veins, attached to his stomach area.

Then I’d take a look at your writing before posting or get a proofreader or editor to read your stuff before posting it.