Critical review of my novel series , Bride Of The Blade.

[marsred]

Hi all,
Would love someone to do a critical review of my novel series , Bride Of The Blade .
First 5 chapters are up, there are a few consistent readers, and I have a good feel about them, but I would like an honest feedback.

Thanks

 

[StoneInky]

Deleted and edited. Turns out I was wrong. Oops.

Will be more careful in the future. Thanks, Fairemont. And now I feel bad.

 

[Fairemont]

Do you run everything through an AI checker?

I was reading it and it feels fairly sterile, but coherent. It may be original content, but edited by an LLM. That, or they are an unfortunate soul whose writing style is similar to what an LLM uses.

 

[StoneInky]

Do you run everything through an AI checker?

I was reading it and it feels fairly sterile, but coherent. It may be original content, but edited by an LLM. That, or they are an unfortunate soul whose writing style is similar to what an LLM uses.

I only run the ones that look really, really sus. This novel is AI edited.

Maybe I should have phrased it better, lmao. Edited, not generated. AI generated novels are against the site's policy, so I don't even bother replying in that case. I just report.

 

[Fairemont]

It wouldn't surprise me to know it is AI edited, but it could also be original. It has some quirks to it that are aggressively repeated which make me feel like there is some authenticity.

 

[unlaumy]

Just saying, but the chapter list is reversed. Your first chapter is at the end, and the newest chapter is at the beginning.

 

[StoneInky]

It wouldn't surprise me to know it is AI edited, but it could also be original. It has some quirks to it that are aggressively repeated which make me feel like there is some authenticity.

I thought that too, but the checkers say otherwise. Could be someone who thought AI style writing is cleaner and better, and so incorporated that into their writing.

I'll reread the whole thing. I have been wrong in the past, so maybe I'm wrong this time too. Maybe you are right.

 

[Fairemont]

Just saying, but the chapter list is reversed. Your first chapter is at the end, and the newest chapter is at the beginning.

That explains why I hit chapter five so fast, and why a lot didnt make a ton of sense at the start lmao

I thought that too, but the checkers say otherwise. Could be someone who thought AI style writing is cleaner and better, and so incorporated that into their writing.

I'll reread the whole thing. I have been wrong in the past, so maybe I'm wrong this time too. Maybe you are right.

AI copies writers, and thus will likely replicate the tone and style that is most common among writers.

The further I read in this the more common smaller grammatical quirks became. Things that I wouldn't expect from an LLM.

Might be legit.

 

[StoneInky]

That explains why I hit chapter five so fast, and why a lot didnt make a ton of sense at the start lmao

AI copies writers, and thus will likely replicate the tone and style that is most common among writers.

The further I read in this the more common smaller grammatical quirks became. Things that I wouldn't expect from an LLM.

Might be legit.

Yeah, I think you're right. I checked the later chapters and they give completely different results compared to the first chapter. Not only do the checkers say so, the writing tone and quirks are all there. The rhythm is ever so slightly off, too.

Hm. Guess you can't trust the checkers after all. From now on, I'll make sure to run the entire thing through a checker. Not just chapter one. Must have been a weird fluke(?)

I'm too lazy to review it now... I'll edit the top comment and come back tomorrow then.

Author person, if you're reading this, I'm sorrryyyyy!

 

[FieryLou]

Yeah, I think you're right. I checked the later chapters and they give completely different results compared to the first chapter. Not only do the checkers say so, the writing tone and quirks are all there. The rhythm is every so slightly off, too.

Hm. Guess you can't trust the checkers after all. From now on, I'll make sure to run the entire thing through a checker. Not just chapter one. Must have been a weird fluke(?)

I'm too lazy to review it now... I'll edit the top comment and come back tomorrow then.

Author person, if you're reading this, I'm sorrryyyyy!

I mean, thats basically friendly fire hahaha. And they say AI will take over. They need to fight each other first.

 

[Fairemont]

Yeah, I think you're right. I checked the later chapters and they give completely different results compared to the first chapter. Not only do the checkers say so, the writing tone and quirks are all there. The rhythm is every so slightly off, too.

Hm. Guess you can't trust the checkers after all. From now on, I'll make sure to run the entire thing through a checker. Not just chapter one. Must have been a weird fluke(?)

I'm too lazy to review it now... I'll edit the top comment and come back tomorrow then.

Author person, if you're reading this, I'm sorrryyyyy!

We must always be cautious before jumping to conclusions, but you are always wonderfully open-minded.

Now that I have the chapters in the proper order I have been reading it and enjoying it. The general quality is higher than most webnovel content.

I absolutely cannot get Drogar/Daenarys and the Dothraki out of my head, though. There are extene parallels in this. Not that it's bad or that Martin's stuff was exactly original or groundbreaking by any means. It's just my pattern-seeking brain doing it's thing.

—————

Having read all five chapters (in the proper order) I can confidently say it is one of the best things I've read in quite a while.

I would highly recommend it to anyone who might enjoy some intrigue and court life with a side of spice.

@StoneInky you should give this a true read. It's very good.

 

[Akkizakura]

Yeah, I think you're right. I checked the later chapters and they give completely different results compared to the first chapter. Not only do the checkers say so, the writing tone and quirks are all there. The rhythm is ever so slightly off, too.

Hm. Guess you can't trust the checkers after all. From now on, I'll make sure to run the entire thing through a checker. Not just chapter one. Must have been a weird fluke(?)

I'm too lazy to review it now... I'll edit the top comment and come back tomorrow then.

Author person, if you're reading this, I'm sorrryyyyy!

We must always be cautious before jumping to conclusions, but you are always wonderfully open-minded.

 

[StoneInky]

Hi all,
Would love someone to do a critical review of my novel series , Bride Of The Blade .
First 5 chapters are up, there are a few consistent readers, and I have a good feel about them, but I would like an honest feedback.

Thanks

I promised to come back tomorrow, and I did. This is going to be the last review I will do(?) that is not on my thread.

As Fairemont said, the novel was really descriptive and well written. I liked how you kept the pacing just right. Not too slow, not too fast, not too much info, but not too little.

The main thing I didn't like was the lack of tags? The MC gets coerced into sex in chapter one. But there's no tag or no content warning, which means you'll likely have readers leaving feeling betrayed and tricked.

The second thing I disliked was how passively you described the MC at first. We're looking at things through her POV. But it feels like she's a warrior princess... who's pleading without a plan, trembling, just going along with her family's goals. It feels like you're setting her up as the victim of this emotional masochist romance. Then she suddenly turns fiercer in the middle of Chapter One, and lashes against Zaekharan. It would be better if she showed signs of that flame early on, so it doesn't feel as abrupt.

I'm not an avid romance reader, so take my feedback with a grain of salt. Lmao.

 

[Fairemont]

Inky made a good point that I overlooked. There is definitely some sudden shifts in her personality, though one could argue that only shows up once she has been assured of her family's safety.

Could emphasis her fiery nature a little more early on. There are suggestions that she is holding back a bit or would like to run/rebel but can't, but a little more oomph might benefit you.

 

[SurfAngel_1031]

Just saying, but the chapter list is reversed. Your first chapter is at the end, and the newest chapter is at the beginning.

That I found profoundly annoying. And the 30% AI generation I got for every chapter makes me suspicious. I wanted to give feedback but I think I'll keep it to myself and move along.