? Chapters 1–5 of The Twelve Now Live – Feedback Appreciated!

[The_Twelve_LightNovel]

Hey Scribble Hub! ??

I’m Kevin, a new author here and excited to be part of this amazing community of storytellers and readers. I just uploaded the first five chapters of my new fantasy series The Twelve, and would love your feedback!

? Quick hook:
What if 353,000 people were gifted elemental powers passed down from 12 legendary ancestors? What if their existence was hidden at the edge of the Earth? What if only a handful—known as the Twelve—were chosen to protect the world from threats no one else even knows exist?

???
Zai, a shy 15-year-old from the nearly extinct Nature Branch, is about to join the elite Twelve Academy… but he may be the key to restoring an entire civilization.

? Why check it out?
Chapter 5 just dropped, and it turns up the heat. New branch arrivals, rising tension, and secrets bubbling under the surface. I'm building toward a long-form series with layered characters, anime vibes, elemental battles, and some seriously emotional moments.

What I’d love to hear!

• Honest thoughts on the pacing and setup
• Which characters stood out (Shi’i, Ezzy, Zai, etc.)
• Would YOU keep coming back weekly?

? You can read it here:

• The Twelve on Scribble Hub

Thanks for taking the time, and I’d love to return the favor with your work too! ??

 

[Worthy39]

Hey, saw this message. I didn't have time to sit down and read the whole thing, but I thought I'd give you a cursory review. As for my impressions from a brief reading of chapter one, the characters are pretty fun from what I saw, I like their interactions, though it did feel a bit sudden to drop us in at that exact moment without much in the way of buildup or lore. I'm sure if I read a bit more, I'd understand, but I personally like at least a brief understanding of worldbuilding and roles before leaping into a story. And this is a more personal thing, many people don't care how you write it, but it tends to take me a bit longer to seriously sit down and read through anything written in first person. If you want, I'd be happy to read through all of it later and give you a more detailed review.

 

[The_Twelve_LightNovel]

Thank you so much for this feedback!! I will definitely implement, your thoughts and spend a little more time building the world from the beginning instead of along the way. I can see how this would be a little misleading.

 

[JayDirex]

Hey Scribble Hub! ??

I’m Kevin, a new author here and excited to be part of this amazing community of storytellers and readers. I just uploaded the first five chapters of my new fantasy series The Twelve, and would love your feedback!

? Quick hook:
What if 353,000 people were gifted elemental powers passed down from 12 legendary ancestors? What if their existence was hidden at the edge of the Earth? What if only a handful—known as the Twelve—were chosen to protect the world from threats no one else even knows exist?

???
Zai, a shy 15-year-old from the nearly extinct Nature Branch, is about to join the elite Twelve Academy… but he may be the key to restoring an entire civilization.

? Why check it out?
Chapter 5 just dropped, and it turns up the heat. New branch arrivals, rising tension, and secrets bubbling under the surface. I'm building toward a long-form series with layered characters, anime vibes, elemental battles, and some seriously emotional moments.

What I’d love to hear!

• Honest thoughts on the pacing and setup
• Which characters stood out (Shi’i, Ezzy, Zai, etc.)
• Would YOU keep coming back weekly?

? You can read it here:

• The Twelve on Scribble Hub

Thanks for taking the time, and I’d love to return the favor with your work too! ??

Dude, you're a bot. Pound sand.

 

[Dec]

GPT usage is oozing out of both this thread and the novel itself.
Gonna stay far away out of this. Good luck.

 

[The_Twelve_LightNovel]

Hey, so the story is far from GPT, it's all very original and reflects an original story I've been trying to get on paper for a very long time. I finally found the courage to do so and just looking for honest feedback, if it's looking GPTish then tell me what I've done wrong in my writing style to change it please. I want to know about my characters and their actions, if you have work, again I will look at it too. Why use GPT to tell your story? At that point it's no longer your story, it's the platform...

Now did I use GPT to make my cover? Yes, however it's only a filler to capture my vision until my artist is finished with it.

Dude, you're a bot. Pound sand.

Naa I'm real man lol all I'm seriously looking for is feedback.