Can you give feedback on my novel?

[EtherealDarkness]

Can you help me?

 

[Tsuru]

Lazy, sorry.
And i got the curse, that each time i help someone i get unlucky..... (even had a dramafight)

But nonetheless, i will recommend to read more chinese raw novels : https://www.69shuba.pro/
Btw, try to change the summary.
Too edgy/chuuni.
Too long for 2024. (not for me, for majority)
Find a way to attract readers by novelty.
Also too much exposition.
And reader (with their crappy brain) will probably not even understand what genre you are.
(vampires tag for example is quite pointless)
Also people are tired of "return in time" bc they saw that for 1000000 times. And even can find 20+ manhwas ongoing with this promises, that means competition and need something that differentiate from them.


Cover is a big bonus point, which is praiseworthy.
(but just personal opinion (you can disregard it), try to zoom in a liiiiittle more and show less of the 2 left-right borders)

PS : You could mention-spoil about what makes MC unique, what stuff he does/know, but without showing all and be long about it. Do in a interesting way of exposing it. Now the era of "long edgy text summary" is no longer popular. Or at least i think so. Especially seeing all raw CNs discarding it for more summaries that goes to the point to BAIT readers.
Summary/cover is the bait. And the early chapter is the hook. Readers are fishes. Very dumb fishes. Horny ones too btw, especially Scribblehub ones.
------------------

2nd post. After Reseeing your series SH page.

To make it short/summary of previous post.
Your summary, your cover, IS TOO BOOKISH. Yes. In a LotR kind of way.

But people crave the kind of "relatable" kind of thing like OPM. Or "The true endgame" (SH series). coughSMUTcough
I mean, not the "opness" but the fact Saitama, to tell an example, he punch monsters have fun but is woken by alarm clock, and beat them in one hit and goes : Fkkkkkkkkkkkkk !!!!!!!

PS : You can call me overthinking but the fact the cover is like that, is like : "Look i am doing a pose in the mirror, come watch this series, i am attractive!!!!" that seems a turn off. Just like nsfw selfies. Or a too distant cold warrior that spurn on the reader.
but if you zoom in more (not a lot, very little, or edit-discarding the "borders"), it feels like the "reader" is directly watching or "spying" which create "immersion" by their own POV imagination.
Again with example of "The true endgame", the cover feels like the reader is watching the antics of MC group. And not them trying to "pose", giving a unatractive artificial vibe

PS PS : But my advices are just advices, because the fundamental big advice is simply the good old : Do what fit you
as for popularity, it will depends on your own skills/talents/theme/environment
Trying to rush change stuff or do stuff not accustomed to, could do a adverse effect.
Anyway read more, and check others. The start of all things is learning from others. Even children from teachers or mangakas from other mangakas and authors from other authors.
And summary/cover/smut-or-not is most important for SH.
(cough a certain space series was like MONTHS in top-ranking in front page bc of good AI pic cover, blue hair girl in a commander uniform)

 

[EtherealDarkness]

You're a hero.

 

[Tsuru]

Thank you.
(said with lot of emotions behind)



Warm my heart.
And smoothing my old wounds (that 90%cases of me helping turn bad or me suffering something).
Bc if i am a hero, i am a very tired, exhausted, betrayed-by-shitty-world hero in the country retired with a waifu.

Thank you.