Since the first chapters are the main introduction point to a story, I wonder how my first five chapters can be edited and upgraded to a better potential. Is someone willing to read the first five chapters of Johnny's life with his two bisexual girlfriends.
Can someone come review the first 5 chapters of my Smut Story?
- Thread starter Dajoe1234
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HappyVainGlory
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Don't have the time to do an in-depth dive, but from reading the first chapter:
Mechanically, it's pretty good, but it reads kind of dry at times. I think that's probably because you haven't found a balance in how much you want to describe yet. Some parts you're describing in great detail, like the setting, characters, etc. But then some parts you sum things up with a single word or short sentence.
It's hard to articulate, but I think it's because you're describing super specific and then broadening out rather than starting broad and narrowing in? Or something. The balance just seems wrong for some reason.
The story also has a stiff flow. There's a lot of similar sentence structures together without much variance. That gets info across, but it comes across a bit robotic to me.
In terms of plot... eh, it's smut. At least on average.
That's my two cents.
Mechanically, it's pretty good, but it reads kind of dry at times. I think that's probably because you haven't found a balance in how much you want to describe yet. Some parts you're describing in great detail, like the setting, characters, etc. But then some parts you sum things up with a single word or short sentence.
It's hard to articulate, but I think it's because you're describing super specific and then broadening out rather than starting broad and narrowing in? Or something. The balance just seems wrong for some reason.
The story also has a stiff flow. There's a lot of similar sentence structures together without much variance. That gets info across, but it comes across a bit robotic to me.
In terms of plot... eh, it's smut. At least on average.
That's my two cents.
Yeah, I suck at English Grammar so I write it in Novel AI. It seems to favor more short direct sentences than eloquent prose.