Can I get feedback for my new Xianxia story ?

[Zenomew]

This lowly Junior seeks the advice of the wise masters

This Sect is too much

The Sect leader who wants nothing more than a slow life Disciples who are hidden dragons and tigers Elders who are too many to bother counting Elder Wu :- Sect leader about our new elder...she is only four years old Sect leader:- How high is your cultivation again?...

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[Ruti]

Chapter one seems pretty good, but Chapter 2's might need some changes. There's a few run on sentences, and quite a few places where a comma would make understanding things much easier.

It should be noted that this person’s is Wu Bin a young man who ended up getting transferred to this world with a system (courtesy of the Gamer)

This, for example, would benefit from one comma in front of Wu Bin's name (chapter 2) as well as perhaps more detail on what the system, or maybe a rewording of things. Something like this could work

It should be noted that this person’s is Wu Bin, a young man with a system (courtesy of the Gamer), who had ended up getting transferred to this world

It could also be a good idea to mention how he ended up getting transferred into this world if it does not conflict with any future plans

Other then Grammar and some sentences being a bit hard to understand here and there, It has a pretty good concept so far.

Note: This is from a readers viewpoint, NOT a Authors view point, so another persons advice would be good to listen to since my view is objectively different from those who have written entire novels