Blurb feedback

[LynaForge]

I'm not sure if we're able to ask this here. If there's a better category for it then please point me to it.

I'm terrible at blurbs and I'm having a real problem with this one. Could I ask for some feedback? The book is called "The Me You Stole." And yes, I know the blurb is bad.

Being overweight isn't a crime--it's just something shameful, Andrea's mother is quick to remind her. But that's to be expected in a world where technology and magic makes body goals and perfection attainable.

*****

Andrea's mother has high hopes for a male heir to lead their household. Andrea must find a husband--and fast. Without a perfect body, however, there are few prospects. For Andrea, on the verge of being disowned, the inability to control something as simple as her weight further exemplifies her other failings. She heralds from the noble class, lovers of tech who frown upon mingling with the servant magic wielders. But with only one year to secure the title of the estate, Andrea has few options.

Opportunity arrives when a damaged magic wielder named Tanner comes to her estate looking for work. Servants of his creed wouldn't dare associate with nobles usually. Andrea's head tells her to be suspicious, but Tanner, who's easy on the eyes and built like a brick, looks like a great opportunity. He also takes interest in Andrea, something no one else does.

For the first time in Andrea's life, everything seems possible...if only she could quiet that stupid voice in her head warning this is too good to be true.

What price would you pay for perfection?

Spoiler: Here's the premise of the story

On the heel of just turning 19, Andrea inherits her family estate. Her mother wants her to relenglish it to her younger brother--thinking Andrea hapless. Andrea refuses, so her mother starts a hazing campaign against her. In Andrea's world, there are people who can grant wishes...for a price. With no money and no prospect, she's about to give up until she meets a wish giver. He's damaged, meaning that his wishes come at a hefty price. She gives up on asking for his help. Over time, he develops feelings for her but it's either a wish for what she wants, or his very poverty-striken love. She chooses the wish and there's no turning back.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Pretty good. I always recommend including a question in a blurb, and you already have that :)