AYM
Heavenly Tribulation (Tummy Ache) Survivor x2
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2023
- Messages
- 617
- Points
- 133
Content Warning: I have been diagnosed with severe LIGMA which has affected my mental state and writing. There is a 16.9% chance this post contains cringeable amounts of DEEZ NUTS.
WELCOME TO MY GUIDE MOTHERFUCKERS. WELCOME TO MY GUIDE OF HOW NOT TO WRITE. IT'S LESS A GUIDE AND MORE A RANT OF THE AGONIZING PAIN THAT GAZING AT SHITTY WRITING INFLICTS UPON ME, BUT FUCK IT. I'VE GOT LIGMA. WE'VE GOT TIME. LET'S BALL. THE FUTURE SON OF HEAVEN IS NO JADE BEAUTY BITCH. THE FUTURE SON OF HEAVEN DROWNS IN MAD JADE BEAUTY BITCHES.
YES I DO HAVE SEX, THANKS FOR ASKING.
THE YOUNG MASTER IS CALLING IT A GUIDE. AND THE YOUNG MASTER IS CORRECT ALL THE TIME, EVERY TIME, ANY WHERE, EVERY WHERE. MY OPINIONS ARE FACTS. MY WORDS ARE ENSHRINED IN DAOIST CANON. I, YOUR FATHER, AM THE FUCKING LAW. IF I USE "YOU'RE" INSTEAD OF "YOUR," IT'S DAMN CORRECT AND YOU DAMN BETTER BELIEVE IT, DATTEBAYO.
BUT THIS YOUNG MASTER IS NOT ONLY handsome, but also magnanimous, AND WILL ACCEPT THAT SOME OF YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEE THE RIGHTEOUS, BLINDING LIGHT OFDEEZ ? NUTS.
IT WILL NOT CONCERN ME IF YOU THINK I AM WRONG. AT ANY TIME, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLICK OFF THIS GUIDE. THEN LEAVE BOTH OF YOUR ARMS, BOTH OF YOUR LEGS, ALL OF YOUR SPIRIT STONES, AND YOUR JADE BEAUTY CHILDHOOD FRIEND ON YOUR WAY OUT. SIMPLE. EVEN A FIVE-YEAR-OLD CHILD COULD FUCKING DO IT, EXCEPT FIVE-YEAR-OLDS DON'T HAVE JADE BEAUTY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, BECAUSE FIVE-YEAR-OLDS DON'T TALK TO WOMEN.
Oh? You're five years old?
WELL WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU SHITTY BRAT. PISS OFF. PISS ON YOUR DOG. OR GET PISSED ON BY YOUR DOG. I'M NOT YOUR FATHER.
GO PLAY OUTSIDE. CATCH BEETLES. CATCH BUTTERFLIES. TOUCH EVERY BLADE OF GRASS. EAT ALL THE BOOGERS. OR PLAY INDOORS. I'M NOT YOUR FATHER.
MEMORIZE EVERY NARUTO HAND SEAL BUT DON'T KILL YOUR PARENTS DON'T BECOME SASUKE AND REMEMBER BORUTO ISN'T REAL.
WHAT THE FUCK DO BRATS EVEN WATCH NOWADAYS?
SEINFELD?
FAMILY GUY?
ISHUZOKU REVIEWERS? WHATEVER.
I WILL NOW STOP SHOUTING IN YOUR MIND BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER SUSTAIN THE SIGNIFICANT FUCKS PER SECOND (FPS by the way) DRAIN RATE THAT ANGY AYM MODE EXPENDS.
What a nice cup of tea. Where was I?
Part One: Story Description
On Scribble Hub, there are a few things a reader will see before even starting chapter 1.
Between all five of them, this is what I'd consider the most important for retaining possible readers.
So write them CLEARLY, YOU FUCKS. BITCH YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE FROM MY WRATH, HUH? YOU THOUGHT MASTER AYM'S APESHIT ANGY MODE WAS OVER, DIDN'T YOU? I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW.
finishes cup of tea
flips table
slaps dantian
THIS GOLDEN CORE CAN CYCLE SO MANY FUCKS. IT CAN STORE NINE-THOUSAND NINE-HUNDRED NINETY-NINE SEXAGENARY CYCLES OF FLYING FUCKS. I CAN HAVE SO MUCH FLYING SEX IN SO MANY WAYS, THE LIKES OF WHICH NOT YOU, NOT SHINZO ABE, COULD EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
"But why, young master AYM," the spirit who appears after I pop three percs and snack on a bag of premium sugondese muses, "why does a terrible synopsis incur such fearsome wrath from the perfect, majestic, awesome being that you are?"
HAHA! I'm glad you asked! HAHAHA! Had you not, you'd have been exorcised the moment I finish writing this! HAHAHAHA!
Think, SmutHubber, think. Think about this for a moment: what is the purpose of your synopsis?
You are writing a small piece of text as an introduction to your story. Before a reader clicks your chapter one, this is what they see. THIS is the WINDOW YOU PROVIDE into your world. THIS is the window THEY SEE to judge if your story is WORTH reading. What can a reader deduce from a description?
I'll do you all a favor. As an example, let's take a look at potential description candidates for THE CHAD DAO CHRONICLES, an imaginary story I MADE UP RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. I WROTE ZERO CHAPTERS. ZERO. DON'T ASK WHERE YOU CAN FIND IT. I DIDN'T WRITE THIS WITH A SLICK SEGUE TO A PATREON ADVERTISEMENT.
Normal Description
Naming the mysterious illness "Ligma" is very funny. The author who came up with this story sounds SMART, and RICH, and HANDSOME, and INTELLIGENT, and WISE, and CLAP MAD JADE BEAUTY CHEEKS.
One Sentence Description
DO NOT DO THAT. ONLY VILLAINS DO THAT.
It says NOTHING about the STORY YOU PRESENTED.
You SOUND like a PRETENTIOUS IDIOT.
You SOUND like you SUFFER FROM A COMMUNICATION DISORDER.
You SOUND like you're DYING OF LIGMA.
Dialogue Description
You might think intentionally writing dialogue the same way a crap Chinese webnovel does will add to its charm. And it MIGHT, but IT'S NOT WORKING HERE. If two novels with similar ideas came out, and one with this description and the other with the normal one, I would first read the other one.
Irrelevant Poem that Aims to Deconstruct the Heavenly Natures of Man, Dao, and the Ten Thousand Things Description
You don't feel as excited about reading them, are you?
Not so convinced to read chapter one in comparison to a normal version, does it now?
Feels like A DIET COCK DOESN'T IT?
LIKE FLACCID, DIET COCK. DOESN'T IT.
WELCOME TO THE RICE FIELDS MOTHERFUCKER.
DO YOU OFFICIALLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU'RE GETTING CUCKED???
YOU CAN CHANGE THIS. JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AN AUTHOR, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE THESE BEATINGS DAILY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET CUCKED DAILY. YOU CAN START WINNING.
WRITE your synopsis CLEARLY.
STOP including details that DON'T SERVE PURPOSE.
RESPECT a reader's TIME.
START WINNING NOW.
DO YOU HEAR ME??????? YOU MOTHERLOVING SHITTY BRATS?????????????
"YES, YOUNG MASTER, THIS LOWLY, UNDESERVING INSECT HEARS YOU!"
"YES, YOUNG MASTER, THIS LOWLY, UNDESERVING INSECT KNOWS YOUR INVALUABLE WISDOM!!"
"YES, YOUNG MASTER, YOU ARE MAGNANIMOUS AND HANDSOME AND HAVE LOTS OF ENJOYABLE AND SATISFYING SEX WITH JADE BEAUTIES DAILY!!!"
If you write it well, you will attract your main audience. If you write it well, the people who aren't interested WILL ALSO KNOW. THAT'S A GOOD THING. STOP GIVING A FLYING SHIT ABOUT THEM. THEY ARE NOT YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE. THEY ARE A NICE BONUS. WHY DO MOTHERFUCKERS FOR SOME REASON WANT TO EAT FRIED RICE WITH NO RICE, ALL SALT.
ALSO. IF ENGLISH IS NOT YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE OR YOUR JUST SHIT AT ENGLISH.
STOP. PUBLISHING. AI. SYNOPSIS.
I know. Maybe you aren't confident in your abilities to write it in English. Maybe you feel like you have no choice but to do so because you know you're going to break every grammar rule.
You can use AI to HELP. BUT.
BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT.
It is there to HELP YOU WRITE IT IN ENGLISH.
IT IS NOT THERE FOR YOU TO SEND YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND THEN ASK FOR A DESCRIPTION.
You lose SO MUCH of your VOICE.
SO.
Write it in your mother tongue. Try your best. ACTUALLY TRY YOUR FUCKING BEST.
HIT your FUCKING SKULL on the FAMILY HEADSTONE OF YOUR ANCESTORS until you WRITE IT YOURSELF.
Then TRY to write it in English yourself.
THEN SPELL CHECK.
THEN GRAMMAR CHECK.
If you can't, THEN.
AND ONLY THEN, should you use AI to translate what you've written.
IF you can't think of a good synopsis,
IF you've STARVED for a full three days and three nights,
IF you've SOILED yourself at your ancestors' grave, ASK FOR HELP.
ASK your ANCESTORS. ASK ANYBODY. ASK the FORUM for advice. Have a conversation with someone. Talk until you FIND OUT WHAT TO EMPHASIZE. Or if your story is SHIT and SWALLOWS MASSIVE NUTS, FIND WHAT TO IMPROVE.
YOU.
YES YOU.
YOU. ARE HERE.
HERE. FORUM.
USE. FORUM.
WRITE. QUESTION.
POST. THREAD.
ACTIVATE. NEURON.
LEAVE. JADE BEAUTY. HERE.
EXPAND. BRAIN.
I'M NOT HERE TO SHAME YOU FOR IMPROVING YOUR ENGLISH OR WRITING SKILLS.
I'M ONLY HERE TO SHAME YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE SHIT TASTE OR YOU DISAGREE WITH MY OPINION. IN HONESTY, BOTH REFER TO THE SAME THING. DISAGREEING WITH MY OPINION IS ALREADY A SIGN OF SHIT TASTE. I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY.
AND.
AND. AND. AND. AND.
BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST THE SHIT OUT OF AI TO NOT STILL FUCK YOU OVER SOME HOW.
Find someone you know who's better at English. ASK them to read over it.
Find someone on the forum to look at it. ASK for more advice.
You should NOT leave it as is. I am very serious. If fifty of you do the same thing, I can't tell the difference between any of your voices. All of you would sound the same.
Do NOT leave it as is.
Do you WANT to WRITE an IGNORED story?
Do you WANT to invest all your time, sweat, SPILLED TEA, BLOOD, TEARS, RAGE, MORE SWEAT, EXTRA TEARS, SPITE, HORNY, EXTRA RAGE, YOUR FUCKING INSANITY, AND TURN IT INTO A STORY NO ONE LOOKS AT?
DO YOU WANT YOUR STORY TO LOOK LIKE EVERY OTHER McDONALDS MEAL? HUH? DO YOU WANT TO COOK A FUCKING HAPPY MEAL?
NO???
GET TO IT.
Part Two: ???
Q:
Where is Part Two?
A:
It's not here. Why?
Because I'm McFucking losing it.
I'M McFUCKING LOSING IT.
I'M McFUCKING GOING NUTS.
DEEZ NUTS.
REVEREND McFUCKING INSANITY.
THIS IS WHAT SEEING TOO MANY HAPPY MEALS DOES TO A MAN.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT TOO MANY SPIRIT CHICKEN NUGGETS?
THIS IS HOW YOU END UP, BUDDY. THIS IS WHERE YOU END UP.
YOU THINK I ONLY HAVE SEX WITH JADE BEAUTIES DAILY BECAUSE I'M A MASSIVE LECHER?
YES.
BUT ALSO.
IT'S SO I KEEP MY MIND BUSY NOT REMEMBERING ALL THE HAPPY MEALS I SEE IN THE WILD.
WHERE IS PART TWO YOU ASK?
WHERE IS PART TWO YOU ASK?
FUCK YOU. THERE'S NO PART TWO.
I'LL WRITE PART TWO WHENEVER I WANT.
MAYBE, BEAR WITH ME, JUST MAYBE I'LL WRITE IT WHEN IT'S NOT THE BLEHPOCALYPSE.
MAYBE, BEAR WITH ME, JUST MAYBE I'LL WRITE IT WHEN I'M NOT DYING OF LIGMA.
Patience.
Q:
Why do you type so much in all-caps?
A:
FUCK YOU.
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
TOO BAD. IT'S A SHAME YOU'VE ALREADY READ EVERYTHING.
THE EXIT IS RIGHT THERE. I WON'T STOP YOU.
I, YOUR FATHER, AM THE YOUNG MASTER. I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.
Q:
Didn't someone already write something similar to your Part One?
A:
FUCK YOU.
OKAY, FINE.
FINE, MAYBE SOMEONE DID.
PROBABLY, SOMEONE DID.
FINE.
BUT, MAYBE,
MAYBE, GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.
MAYBE, THINGS NEED TO BE SAID OFTEN.
BECAUSE HUMANS FORGET.
PROBABLY, BECAUSE THEY DRIVE EACH OTHER INSANE.
FUCKING INSANE. FUCK.
OR MAYBE,
MAYBE, SOME OF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT.
PROBABLY, BECAUSE HUMANS ALL SWIM IN A SEA OF SHIT.
CAN'T SEE FOR SHIT HERE.
CAN'T SEE FOR SHIT ANYWHERE.
OR MAYBE,
JUST MAYBE,
THINGS LIKE TO BE SAID OFTEN.
LIKE EVERY FUCKING SOLO LEVELING COPYCAT OUT THERE. YES, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL, THANKS FOR ASKING.
Q:
Aren't you only imagining there exist real losers asking these questions? Are you sure you aren't fighting against people who don't exist?
A:
WELCOME TO MY GUIDE MOTHERFUCKERS. WELCOME TO MY GUIDE OF HOW NOT TO WRITE. IT'S LESS A GUIDE AND MORE A RANT OF THE AGONIZING PAIN THAT GAZING AT SHITTY WRITING INFLICTS UPON ME, BUT FUCK IT. I'VE GOT LIGMA. WE'VE GOT TIME. LET'S BALL. THE FUTURE SON OF HEAVEN IS NO JADE BEAUTY BITCH. THE FUTURE SON OF HEAVEN DROWNS IN MAD JADE BEAUTY BITCHES.
YES I DO HAVE SEX, THANKS FOR ASKING.
THE YOUNG MASTER IS CALLING IT A GUIDE. AND THE YOUNG MASTER IS CORRECT ALL THE TIME, EVERY TIME, ANY WHERE, EVERY WHERE. MY OPINIONS ARE FACTS. MY WORDS ARE ENSHRINED IN DAOIST CANON. I, YOUR FATHER, AM THE FUCKING LAW. IF I USE "YOU'RE" INSTEAD OF "YOUR," IT'S DAMN CORRECT AND YOU DAMN BETTER BELIEVE IT, DATTEBAYO.
BUT THIS YOUNG MASTER IS NOT ONLY handsome, but also magnanimous, AND WILL ACCEPT THAT SOME OF YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEE THE RIGHTEOUS, BLINDING LIGHT OF
IT WILL NOT CONCERN ME IF YOU THINK I AM WRONG. AT ANY TIME, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLICK OFF THIS GUIDE. THEN LEAVE BOTH OF YOUR ARMS, BOTH OF YOUR LEGS, ALL OF YOUR SPIRIT STONES, AND YOUR JADE BEAUTY CHILDHOOD FRIEND ON YOUR WAY OUT. SIMPLE. EVEN A FIVE-YEAR-OLD CHILD COULD FUCKING DO IT, EXCEPT FIVE-YEAR-OLDS DON'T HAVE JADE BEAUTY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, BECAUSE FIVE-YEAR-OLDS DON'T TALK TO WOMEN.
Oh? You're five years old?
WELL WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU SHITTY BRAT. PISS OFF. PISS ON YOUR DOG. OR GET PISSED ON BY YOUR DOG. I'M NOT YOUR FATHER.
GO PLAY OUTSIDE. CATCH BEETLES. CATCH BUTTERFLIES. TOUCH EVERY BLADE OF GRASS. EAT ALL THE BOOGERS. OR PLAY INDOORS. I'M NOT YOUR FATHER.
MEMORIZE EVERY NARUTO HAND SEAL BUT DON'T KILL YOUR PARENTS DON'T BECOME SASUKE AND REMEMBER BORUTO ISN'T REAL.
WHAT THE FUCK DO BRATS EVEN WATCH NOWADAYS?
SEINFELD?
FAMILY GUY?
ISHUZOKU REVIEWERS? WHATEVER.
I WILL NOW STOP SHOUTING IN YOUR MIND BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER SUSTAIN THE SIGNIFICANT FUCKS PER SECOND (FPS by the way) DRAIN RATE THAT ANGY AYM MODE EXPENDS.
Subliminal Messaging:
Drink more tea. Tea is good. Tea calms the heart. Tea calms the mind.
*Sippppppppppppppppp*
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Tea is good.
Drink more tea.
Drink more tea. Tea is good. Tea calms the heart. Tea calms the mind.
*Sippppppppppppppppp*
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Tea is good.
Drink more tea.
What a nice cup of tea. Where was I?
Part One: Story Description
On Scribble Hub, there are a few things a reader will see before even starting chapter 1.
- You're story title
- You're story cover
- You're story genre
- You're story tags
- You're synopsis
Between all five of them, this is what I'd consider the most important for retaining possible readers.
So write them CLEARLY, YOU FUCKS. BITCH YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE FROM MY WRATH, HUH? YOU THOUGHT MASTER AYM'S APESHIT ANGY MODE WAS OVER, DIDN'T YOU? I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW.
finishes cup of tea
flips table
slaps dantian
THIS GOLDEN CORE CAN CYCLE SO MANY FUCKS. IT CAN STORE NINE-THOUSAND NINE-HUNDRED NINETY-NINE SEXAGENARY CYCLES OF FLYING FUCKS. I CAN HAVE SO MUCH FLYING SEX IN SO MANY WAYS, THE LIKES OF WHICH NOT YOU, NOT SHINZO ABE, COULD EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
- IF YOUR SYNOPSIS IS ONE SENTENCE FUCK YOU.
- IF YOUR SYNOPSIS IS A HOT STEAMING PILE OF INCOHERENT DOG SHIT DIALOGUE FUCK YOU.
- IF YOUR SYNOPSIS IS AN IRRELEVANT POEM THAT AIMS TO DECONSTRUCT THE HEAVENLY NATURES OF MAN DAO AND THE TEN THOUSAND THINGS FUCK YOU.
- What you should be doing is turning your synopsis into your story, and writing a proper story description for that.
- Please mention me if you write one.
- I promise I won't get angy.
"But why, young master AYM," the spirit who appears after I pop three percs and snack on a bag of premium sugondese muses, "why does a terrible synopsis incur such fearsome wrath from the perfect, majestic, awesome being that you are?"
HAHA! I'm glad you asked! HAHAHA! Had you not, you'd have been exorcised the moment I finish writing this! HAHAHAHA!
Think, SmutHubber, think. Think about this for a moment: what is the purpose of your synopsis?
You are writing a small piece of text as an introduction to your story. Before a reader clicks your chapter one, this is what they see. THIS is the WINDOW YOU PROVIDE into your world. THIS is the window THEY SEE to judge if your story is WORTH reading. What can a reader deduce from a description?
- Tone
- Grammar
- Genre
- Tropes
- Plot
- Deez Nuts
I'll do you all a favor. As an example, let's take a look at potential description candidates for THE CHAD DAO CHRONICLES, an imaginary story I MADE UP RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. I WROTE ZERO CHAPTERS. ZERO. DON'T ASK WHERE YOU CAN FIND IT. I DIDN'T WRITE THIS WITH A SLICK SEGUE TO A PATREON ADVERTISEMENT.
Normal Description
- Tone: Light, Comedic, Probably a power fantasy
- Grammar: Looks fine to me
- Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy, Xianxia
- Looks like a KICKASS ADVENTURE
- If you give a shit, wow! No LitRPG! I can tell so easily because nowhere does it talk about a FUCKING BLUE BOX
- Tropes: Arrogant young master, jade beauty, terminal illness, daoism, cultivation, alchemy, pill refining
- Plot: Clearly stated. Death comes after one of his jade beauties? Young master refuses. He will CURE the SHIT OUT OF THAT LADY
- Deez Nuts: LIGMA BALLS
- Author sounds like HE COOKED
- EVEN THOUGH THE STORY ISN'T REAL
- HOLY SHIT 1024 TRANSFORMATIONS OF DEEZ NUTS
Naming the mysterious illness "Ligma" is very funny. The author who came up with this story sounds SMART, and RICH, and HANDSOME, and INTELLIGENT, and WISE, and CLAP MAD JADE BEAUTY CHEEKS.
One Sentence Description
- Tone: Who knows? ONLY HEAVEN AND EARTH
- Grammar: Great for a FUCKING SENTENCE
- Genre: TRAGEDY.
- YOU CAN FIX STORY DESCRIPTIONS BUT YOU CAN'T FIX PEOPLE
- WHO is SHE. WHAT is WRONG with HER
- WHO is I. WHOMS'T is DOING the FIXING
- Is it LitRPG? Will I see BLUE BOXES? Does MC NEED to FAP to A STATUS SCREEN to SAVE HER?
- Tropes: ONLY HEAVEN AND EARTH FUCIKNG KNOW
- Plot: Local Gooner cashes out their great-grandfather's pension plan to simp for a VTuber. LIGMA BALLS.
- Deez Nuts: FUCK YOU
DO NOT DO THAT. ONLY VILLAINS DO THAT.
It says NOTHING about the STORY YOU PRESENTED.
You SOUND like a PRETENTIOUS IDIOT.
You SOUND like you SUFFER FROM A COMMUNICATION DISORDER.
You SOUND like you're DYING OF LIGMA.
Dialogue Description
- Tone: Reads like the average Chinese webnovel, probably a power fantasy
- Grammar: Looks fine to me
- Genre: Adventure, Action, xianxia?
- Venerable? Mt. Meru? It sounds like xianxia
- Tropes: Arrogant young master, terminally... ill... woman
- Plot: Arrogant young master Long Aotian heads west to take revenge against Morbius because something terrible happened to a woman.
- Deez Nuts: Ligma Balls.
- It does its job but I don't feel excited to read further.
- I'd need to read chapter one for a better picture.
You might think intentionally writing dialogue the same way a crap Chinese webnovel does will add to its charm. And it MIGHT, but IT'S NOT WORKING HERE. If two novels with similar ideas came out, and one with this description and the other with the normal one, I would first read the other one.
Irrelevant Poem that Aims to Deconstruct the Heavenly Natures of Man, Dao, and the Ten Thousand Things Description
THE DAO THAT CAN BE NAMED,
IS NOT THE ETERNAL DAO.
THE NAME THAT CAN BE NAMED,
IS NOT THE ETERNAL NAME.
THROUGHOUT HEAVEN AND EARTH,
I ALONE AM THE HONORED ONE.
GOD GIVES HIS SILLIEST BATTLES,
TO HIS FUNNIEST CLOWNS.
WRITE THIS POEM YOURSELF,
YOU UNENLIGHTENED CIRCUS.
- Everything: It's AMAZING. I would CRY. I would SHED TEARS OF DIVINE ESSENCE. This must be what it felt like to WRITE INVISIBLE DRAGON.
- It's too bad it's the FUCKING SYNOPSIS
- And it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY?
- THANKS for the
ENLIGHTENMENTyou NERD I'm CLICKING on a DIFFERENT NOVEL
You don't feel as excited about reading them, are you?
Not so convinced to read chapter one in comparison to a normal version, does it now?
Feels like A DIET COCK DOESN'T IT?
LIKE FLACCID, DIET COCK. DOESN'T IT.
WELCOME TO THE RICE FIELDS MOTHERFUCKER.
DO YOU OFFICIALLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU'RE GETTING CUCKED???
YOU CAN CHANGE THIS. JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AN AUTHOR, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO TAKE THESE BEATINGS DAILY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET CUCKED DAILY. YOU CAN START WINNING.
WRITE your synopsis CLEARLY.
STOP including details that DON'T SERVE PURPOSE.
RESPECT a reader's TIME.
START WINNING NOW.
DO YOU HEAR ME??????? YOU MOTHERLOVING SHITTY BRATS?????????????
"YES, YOUNG MASTER, THIS LOWLY, UNDESERVING INSECT HEARS YOU!"
"YES, YOUNG MASTER, THIS LOWLY, UNDESERVING INSECT KNOWS YOUR INVALUABLE WISDOM!!"
"YES, YOUNG MASTER, YOU ARE MAGNANIMOUS AND HANDSOME AND HAVE LOTS OF ENJOYABLE AND SATISFYING SEX WITH JADE BEAUTIES DAILY!!!"
If you write it well, you will attract your main audience. If you write it well, the people who aren't interested WILL ALSO KNOW. THAT'S A GOOD THING. STOP GIVING A FLYING SHIT ABOUT THEM. THEY ARE NOT YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE. THEY ARE A NICE BONUS. WHY DO MOTHERFUCKERS FOR SOME REASON WANT TO EAT FRIED RICE WITH NO RICE, ALL SALT.
ALSO. IF ENGLISH IS NOT YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE OR YOUR JUST SHIT AT ENGLISH.
STOP. PUBLISHING. AI. SYNOPSIS.
I know. Maybe you aren't confident in your abilities to write it in English. Maybe you feel like you have no choice but to do so because you know you're going to break every grammar rule.
You can use AI to HELP. BUT.
BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT. BUT.
It is there to HELP YOU WRITE IT IN ENGLISH.
IT IS NOT THERE FOR YOU TO SEND YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND THEN ASK FOR A DESCRIPTION.
You lose SO MUCH of your VOICE.
SO.
Write it in your mother tongue. Try your best. ACTUALLY TRY YOUR FUCKING BEST.
HIT your FUCKING SKULL on the FAMILY HEADSTONE OF YOUR ANCESTORS until you WRITE IT YOURSELF.
Then TRY to write it in English yourself.
THEN SPELL CHECK.
THEN GRAMMAR CHECK.
If you can't, THEN.
AND ONLY THEN, should you use AI to translate what you've written.
IF you can't think of a good synopsis,
IF you've STARVED for a full three days and three nights,
IF you've SOILED yourself at your ancestors' grave, ASK FOR HELP.
ASK your ANCESTORS. ASK ANYBODY. ASK the FORUM for advice. Have a conversation with someone. Talk until you FIND OUT WHAT TO EMPHASIZE. Or if your story is SHIT and SWALLOWS MASSIVE NUTS, FIND WHAT TO IMPROVE.
YOU.
YES YOU.
YOU. ARE HERE.
HERE. FORUM.
USE. FORUM.
WRITE. QUESTION.
POST. THREAD.
ACTIVATE. NEURON.
LEAVE. JADE BEAUTY. HERE.
EXPAND. BRAIN.
I'M NOT HERE TO SHAME YOU FOR IMPROVING YOUR ENGLISH OR WRITING SKILLS.
I'M ONLY HERE TO SHAME YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE SHIT TASTE OR YOU DISAGREE WITH MY OPINION. IN HONESTY, BOTH REFER TO THE SAME THING. DISAGREEING WITH MY OPINION IS ALREADY A SIGN OF SHIT TASTE. I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY.
AND.
AND. AND. AND. AND.
BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST THE SHIT OUT OF AI TO NOT STILL FUCK YOU OVER SOME HOW.
Find someone you know who's better at English. ASK them to read over it.
Find someone on the forum to look at it. ASK for more advice.
You should NOT leave it as is. I am very serious. If fifty of you do the same thing, I can't tell the difference between any of your voices. All of you would sound the same.
Do NOT leave it as is.
Do you WANT to WRITE an IGNORED story?
Do you WANT to invest all your time, sweat, SPILLED TEA, BLOOD, TEARS, RAGE, MORE SWEAT, EXTRA TEARS, SPITE, HORNY, EXTRA RAGE, YOUR FUCKING INSANITY, AND TURN IT INTO A STORY NO ONE LOOKS AT?
DO YOU WANT YOUR STORY TO LOOK LIKE EVERY OTHER McDONALDS MEAL? HUH? DO YOU WANT TO COOK A FUCKING HAPPY MEAL?
NO???
GET TO IT.
Subliminal Messaging:
Drink more tea. Tea is good. Tea hydrates the body. Tea nourishes the soul.
Tea is good.
Drink more tea.
Drink more tea. Tea is good. Tea hydrates the body. Tea nourishes the soul.
Tea is good.
Drink more tea.
Part Two: ???
Q:
Where is Part Two?
A:
It's not here. Why?
Because I'm McFucking losing it.
I'M McFUCKING LOSING IT.
I'M McFUCKING GOING NUTS.
DEEZ NUTS.
REVEREND McFUCKING INSANITY.
THIS IS WHAT SEEING TOO MANY HAPPY MEALS DOES TO A MAN.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT TOO MANY SPIRIT CHICKEN NUGGETS?
THIS IS HOW YOU END UP, BUDDY. THIS IS WHERE YOU END UP.
YOU THINK I ONLY HAVE SEX WITH JADE BEAUTIES DAILY BECAUSE I'M A MASSIVE LECHER?
YES.
BUT ALSO.
IT'S SO I KEEP MY MIND BUSY NOT REMEMBERING ALL THE HAPPY MEALS I SEE IN THE WILD.
WHERE IS PART TWO YOU ASK?
WHERE IS PART TWO YOU ASK?
FUCK YOU. THERE'S NO PART TWO.
I'LL WRITE PART TWO WHENEVER I WANT.
MAYBE, BEAR WITH ME, JUST MAYBE I'LL WRITE IT WHEN IT'S NOT THE BLEHPOCALYPSE.
MAYBE, BEAR WITH ME, JUST MAYBE I'LL WRITE IT WHEN I'M NOT DYING OF LIGMA.
Patience.
Q:
Why do you type so much in all-caps?
A:
FUCK YOU.
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
TOO BAD. IT'S A SHAME YOU'VE ALREADY READ EVERYTHING.
THE EXIT IS RIGHT THERE. I WON'T STOP YOU.
I, YOUR FATHER, AM THE YOUNG MASTER. I AM NOT YOUR FATHER.
Q:
Didn't someone already write something similar to your Part One?
A:
FUCK YOU.
OKAY, FINE.
FINE, MAYBE SOMEONE DID.
PROBABLY, SOMEONE DID.
FINE.
BUT, MAYBE,
MAYBE, GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.
MAYBE, THINGS NEED TO BE SAID OFTEN.
BECAUSE HUMANS FORGET.
PROBABLY, BECAUSE THEY DRIVE EACH OTHER INSANE.
FUCKING INSANE. FUCK.
OR MAYBE,
MAYBE, SOME OF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN IT.
PROBABLY, BECAUSE HUMANS ALL SWIM IN A SEA OF SHIT.
CAN'T SEE FOR SHIT HERE.
CAN'T SEE FOR SHIT ANYWHERE.
OR MAYBE,
JUST MAYBE,
THINGS LIKE TO BE SAID OFTEN.
LIKE EVERY FUCKING SOLO LEVELING COPYCAT OUT THERE. YES, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL, THANKS FOR ASKING.
Q:
Aren't you only imagining there exist real losers asking these questions? Are you sure you aren't fighting against people who don't exist?
A:
LOOK.
HERE'S SOMETHING TO PASS THE TIME FOR YOUR ALPHA BETA ZOOMY BRAIN.
NINE FULL HOURS OF HD ASMR BRAIN ROT. WHAT A DEAL.
I KNOW THE TITLE SAYS IT LASTS FOR TEN. IT IS FUCKING WRONG.
THE FEELING YOU ARE CURRENTLY FEELING IS BETRAYAL.
BA-DA-BA-BA-BA.
HERE'S SOMETHING TO PASS THE TIME FOR YOUR ALPHA BETA ZOOMY BRAIN.
NINE FULL HOURS OF HD ASMR BRAIN ROT. WHAT A DEAL.
I KNOW THE TITLE SAYS IT LASTS FOR TEN. IT IS FUCKING WRONG.
THE FEELING YOU ARE CURRENTLY FEELING IS BETRAYAL.
BA-DA-BA-BA-BA.
