Well, the gore is there, not gonna lie. Not gonna judge as well.
Grammar gut, it's actually much better than I expected. If it stays the same past the first chapter, cause that's as much as I read, there are no problems on that front.
I'd advise to use some more expressive words, especially in dialogues. The characters feel kinda flat with how they are conversing. And also, you shouldn't repeat too many words in dialogues and exclamations. You can write that 'someone kept saying something like a broken record' instead of writing a wall of text, and it will convey emotions better.
Can't say anything on pacing and plot, because there was nothing at the point I stopped reading.
All in all much better than I expected from a suposedly terrible story. You're doing very good on descriptions, worse on dialogues and emotions. Not the heights of literature, but quite good, and I would probably keep reading if it aligned with my tastes better.
