Asking for feedback on my chapters

[Fisher0001]

So, just asking for people's opinions on my chapters. Like what works, what doesn't, and what I can do for my next novel.

The link to my story is below:

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2148392/brinus-helios-from-criminal-to-hero/

 

[FavouriteReads]

Hi there, I will take a look and drop my notes if I am done.

 

[morgan_arlen]

I read your first chapter. Excellent world building, and fairly believable, although a bit cliche. I felt that the character development and scene more or less played out about halfway through the chapter. My interest wained because it felt like we were just rehashing the same world building. Perhaps look at how you're pacing plot and action beats to keep the reader interested.

 

[eliahdd4212556]

I would love for you to tell me what you think about the episodes.

Boundless

Boundless – Synopsis In the Kingdom of Lora, four massive walls protect humanity from ruthless enemies, with 7 legendary Generals maintaining order and security. But at the edge of the world, outside the inner walls, dwell those the kingdom has forgotten—the survivors of the collapsed Fourth...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[morgan_arlen]

I would love for you to tell me what you think about the episodes.

Boundless

Boundless – Synopsis In the Kingdom of Lora, four massive walls protect humanity from ruthless enemies, with 7 legendary Generals maintaining order and security. But at the edge of the world, outside the inner walls, dwell those the kingdom has forgotten—the survivors of the collapsed Fourth...

www.scribblehub.com

Do you have an english translation?

 

[eliahdd4212556]

Yes

Do you have an english translation?

‏It has already been translated into English.

 

[Fisher0001]

Hi there, I will take a look and drop my notes if I am done.

Thanks!

 

[Fisher0001]

So I changed chapter one based on feedback.