Any feedback on my story?

[DragonWhoWaddles]

Hey, I want both tips and criticism for my story 'Comic writer in a grim world'. Should I change anything? How about my writing style? Does the side pov chapters take away from my story? I'm curious in what y'all think. It's my first story, so I'm not sure if I did anything wrong.

 

[Tsuru]

TIP number1

Give the link to your story when asking feedbacks.
And no i wont give some, not aimed at you but bc i simply dont (anymore)

 

[DragonWhoWaddles]

TIP number1

Give the link to your story when asking feedbacks.
And no i wont give some, not aimed at you but bc i simply dont (anymore)

OK thanks, updated