Advice for my story

[ParsifalCasanov]

Hello everyone!
I am ParsifalCasanov ? and I just posted my novel, Handbook of the Dead. It is set in a post apocalyptic world where zombies stagger and mutants crawl. It’s a high school story, but the MC won’t have any outlandish powers. What I like are characters that solve the situation with their own wits and cleverness. Also, I love Chekhov’s Gun, so be sure to watch for that in my story.

Link - Handbook of the Dead

It’s my first novel, aside from fan fictions, so could you review it? Tell me how to improve my prose or the like?

 

[TheIcMan]

Uhh wow. This is most definitely not for me because everything made me cringe LMAO. Dialogue, prose, setup. Felt exactly what 16 year old me would like, and yes, obviously that's the point given the age of the protagonist. But damn, I'm at the point in my life where I can't stand this. Especially references to real video games. Whew.

That's my take at least. Maybe it'll resonate better with someone else.