Advice for my new novel..

[kn1is7otaku]

I'm writing a romance fantasy with a twist: the male lead is reincarnated and seeks a contract marriage with the villainess. Unlike typical stories where the female lead is reincarnated as the villainess and gets into a contract marriage with the duke, I’m finding out that this setup makes it feel like the villainess is using the male lead, unlike other novels where this exa thing happens.

Why does it seem that way? It feels like her acceptance of the contract marriage is driven by ulterior motives, which makes it hard to portray genuine romance. I want to capture a relationship that feels balanced and meaningful, but it often comes across as transactional.

Is this an issue with my writing, or am I missing something in the character dynamics? How can I convey a sense of mutual benefit and emotional depth in their relationship? Any tips on reframing their interactions to enhance the romantic element would be greatly appreciated!

 

[RecursiveDescent]

A contract marriage is at the end of the day a contract marriage.
If you don't show them as taking efforts to prepare excuses to stay together if the contract is broken or trying to unreasonably prolong the contract then it's just as what you wrote it as: transactional.

Mutual benefit is literally as transactional as it gets, working up with small things to put emotional depth into it is the way.
The first small thing is why would she accept it? Did she know whatever he offered was underwhelming but still entered it anyway? Otherwise it's back to being what is basically a trade.

 

[TheKillingAlice]

I'm writing a romance fantasy with a twist: the male lead is reincarnated and seeks a contract marriage with the villainess. Unlike typical stories where the female lead is reincarnated as the villainess and gets into a contract marriage with the duke, I’m finding out that this setup makes it feel like the villainess is using the male lead, unlike other novels where this exa thing happens.

Why does it seem that way? It feels like her acceptance of the contract marriage is driven by ulterior motives, which makes it hard to portray genuine romance. I want to capture a relationship that feels balanced and meaningful, but it often comes across as transactional.

Is this an issue with my writing, or am I missing something in the character dynamics? How can I convey a sense of mutual benefit and emotional depth in their relationship? Any tips on reframing their interactions to enhance the romantic element would be greatly appreciated!

That depends, since I don't know where you get the info from. Do you feel that it seems like she's using him or is it the readers who say so?
And one reason why it may come off this way, even though I'm not sure how exactly it comes off this way, might be because in your average story where someone is taking over the body of a Villainess and tries to safe herself, she usually has some sort of vested interest in the guy. She would also either have the guy, who can't stand her, feel like he's getting something out of it, and those clear boundaries make it obvious that they are on more or less equal ground.
If the protagonist in your story is the guy who originally was in the positive light and took the hand of the villainess, that means we don't have the "reassurance" that said villaines is now actually someone else, with probably ulterior motives that we can get behind, because she's the MC, while the guy is likely either the "villain who's not really a villain" or "not a villain to begin with", as the MC wouldn't choose him if he meant her certain death. The roles might be reversed, but that just means the "good guy" remains the good guy, but the "villainess" also remains the "vialliness" who was villainess for a reason, so why would one expect her to have no bad intentions whatsoever?
Again, I don't know the story, I just went with what I assume is most likely the reason.

 

[kn1is7otaku]

A contract marriage is at the end of the day a contract marriage.
If you don't show them as taking efforts to prepare excuses to stay together if the contract is broken or trying to unreasonably prolong the contract then it's just as what you wrote it as: transactional.

Mutual benefit is literally as transactional as it gets, working up with small things to put emotional depth into it is the way.
The first small thing is why would she accept it? Did she know whatever he offered was underwhelming but still entered it anyway? Otherwise it's back to being what is basically a trade.

This might also be a reason, I think having a chapter from her pov and showcasing that she has a interest in him before she accepts the contract marriage might help.

That depends, since I don't know where you get the info from. Do you feel that it seems like she's using him or is it the readers who say so?
And one reason why it may come off this way, even though I'm not sure how exactly it comes off this way, might be because in your average story where someone is taking over the body of a Villainess and tries to safe herself, she usually has some sort of vested interest in the guy. She would also either have the guy, who can't stand her, feel like he's getting something out of it, and those clear boundaries make it obvious that they are on more or less equal ground.
If the protagonist in your story is the guy who originally was in the positive light and took the hand of the villainess, that means we don't have the "reassurance" that said villaines is now actually someone else, with probably ulterior motives that we can get behind, because she's the MC, while the guy is likely either the "villain who's not really a villain" or "not a villain to begin with", as the MC wouldn't choose him if he meant her certain death. The roles might be reversed, but that just means the "good guy" remains the good guy, but the "villainess" also remains the "vialliness" who was villainess for a reason, so why would one expect her to have no bad intentions whatsoever?
Again, I don't know the story, I just went with what I assume is most likely the reason.

I think this might be it, the Mc being a good guy and the Villainess still being the Villainess is making the story feel like that! Now this has no perfect solution I guess, either I make the Mc as Villainous as her or make her a misunderstood villain.. the latter won‘t work since mc likes her because she is a Villainess to begin with so I guess I will have to change the Mc’s personality to match hers..

 

[RecursiveDescent]

This might also be a reason, I think having a chapter from her pov and showcasing that she has a interest in him before she accepts the contract marriage might help.


I think this might be it, the Mc being a good guy and the Villainess still being the Villainess is making the story feel like that! Now this has no perfect solution I guess, either I make the Mc as Villainous as her or make her a misunderstood villain.. the latter won‘t work since mc likes her because she is a Villainess to begin with so I guess I will have to change the Mc’s personality to match hers..

There's no real reason for a personality change, he can just start making use of her villainy for good instead.
Absolute good or evil doesn't exist, sometimes a goody-two-shoes saint protagonist doesn't have unlimited plot armor to make the world he lives in fall into place of his ideals.

"A prince, therefore, must not mind incurring the charge of cruelty for the purpose of keeping his subjects united and faithful." - Niccolo Machiavelli

 

[QuercusMalus]

1. Why does he want to marry her.
2. Why/how is she the villainess?
3. Why does he want a contract marriage with her?

Closeness can bring understanding. Understanding can bring respect and trust. Respect and trust can bring friendship. Friendship can bring love.

Just because you are writing a romance, doesn't mean it needs to start with instant attraction. Lust at first sight does not equal love.