ArlindoFrancisco
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2024
- Messages
- 89
- Points
- 48
I didn't want to ask for writing tips because maybe some people would think I was promoting my story so better to post here.
To put it bluntly, my story is about a guy that has memories of the past but just the memories are not reincarnation; those memories come from a hero that was reincarnated from earth and all that. not really that complex.
For the hero in the past, he could use runes to build or improve devices or enchant armor and stuff, for example, Magictech, which he used for his party and himself sometimes and never bothered to teach anyone like any overpower protagonist would. My MC has that as his power; that is the difference; now he needed to give permission to people so that they could use his devices. In the beginning of the story, he didn't even think about teaching to anyone, as everything was still new and he needed to learn how it works. Again, he is not the hero himself, just the memories, and it is not like the hero even tried to build the things he was trying to.
Instead of saying it out loud, I hinted at putting the MC showing a device to a blacksmith who was his only friend and at first he could not use it, but then he said in a way in the middle of the conversation something like "See, now you can use it" while holding the hand of the blacksmith and boom, he could use the devices. that happens in the beginning.
But I think people forgot about it as they read because later something happens and the MC becomes a slave and the slave magic morphs his ability in such a way that now everyone that sees his master as their leader and follows them can use the devices and can even build them by themselves. and this time I explained that more bluntly with a direct example, using her maid and a random guard but I think it wasn't enough.
The problem is that I received some comments on RR saying they find it odd that the people of the world didn't think about making devices like the MC built for themselves because now he is even teaching how to with classes and stuff, but by that point in the story i already explained that only nobles could use magic and even they didn't use much, it was more a status symbol, different from before were everyone could use magic... but i explained as the story progresses trying to be organic about it.
I wonder if, when I do a rewrite, I need to be more direct in explaining things and not let people assume how things work by themselves.
I responded to the person explaining and all, but to me, if he had that doubt, I failed, and also the fact that I kind of destroyed the MC uniqueness in a way, but he has other things for him and all, and the whole point of him is that he can't do things alone like the hero; he needs to have others doing and creating new things.
This is my first story and English is not my native language so I can see something like this happening. I know that I have a long way to go but yeah, should I be more direct?
To put it bluntly, my story is about a guy that has memories of the past but just the memories are not reincarnation; those memories come from a hero that was reincarnated from earth and all that. not really that complex.
For the hero in the past, he could use runes to build or improve devices or enchant armor and stuff, for example, Magictech, which he used for his party and himself sometimes and never bothered to teach anyone like any overpower protagonist would. My MC has that as his power; that is the difference; now he needed to give permission to people so that they could use his devices. In the beginning of the story, he didn't even think about teaching to anyone, as everything was still new and he needed to learn how it works. Again, he is not the hero himself, just the memories, and it is not like the hero even tried to build the things he was trying to.
Instead of saying it out loud, I hinted at putting the MC showing a device to a blacksmith who was his only friend and at first he could not use it, but then he said in a way in the middle of the conversation something like "See, now you can use it" while holding the hand of the blacksmith and boom, he could use the devices. that happens in the beginning.
But I think people forgot about it as they read because later something happens and the MC becomes a slave and the slave magic morphs his ability in such a way that now everyone that sees his master as their leader and follows them can use the devices and can even build them by themselves. and this time I explained that more bluntly with a direct example, using her maid and a random guard but I think it wasn't enough.
The problem is that I received some comments on RR saying they find it odd that the people of the world didn't think about making devices like the MC built for themselves because now he is even teaching how to with classes and stuff, but by that point in the story i already explained that only nobles could use magic and even they didn't use much, it was more a status symbol, different from before were everyone could use magic... but i explained as the story progresses trying to be organic about it.
I wonder if, when I do a rewrite, I need to be more direct in explaining things and not let people assume how things work by themselves.
I responded to the person explaining and all, but to me, if he had that doubt, I failed, and also the fact that I kind of destroyed the MC uniqueness in a way, but he has other things for him and all, and the whole point of him is that he can't do things alone like the hero; he needs to have others doing and creating new things.
This is my first story and English is not my native language so I can see something like this happening. I know that I have a long way to go but yeah, should I be more direct?
