A brat asking: how do you describe fossils?

[TheMonotonePuppet]

How do you describe... how do I say this politely...
Has-beens.
I have realized that the physical appearance of old people is not something I describe... at all. They are always youthful-looking immortals in my main story, but for a liverspotted, wrinkled old man, how would you go about describing his scraggely, white combover or the ever-popular-with-the-ladies grumpy Gus on a porch persona? (practicing how to be an asshole for one of my character's personas. Am I succeeding? Advice on either being the classic brat - but keep-in-mind, he does have a tragic past - or on describing old people, I'm good with either.
@Lloyd @SailusGebel You guys have practice, right?

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

"[Old person name] can [superficial characteristic] [add visualization/description]"

"I bet Dolores over there can bend rebar with her tongue with that biker look she's giving the whole room."

 

[HelloHound]

The asshole shouting at me was covered in wrinkles, like someone grabbed his face and pulled as far as possible before releasing. I bet he barely has any teeth aside from the few gripping his cigar that puffs out foul smelling smoke, but even as he was yelling he kept grabbing things outta my arms and setting them to the side before pulling up a chair for me, which was odd

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

The asshole shouting at me was covered in wrinkles, like someone grabbed his face and pulled as far as possible before releasing. I bet he barely has any teeth aside from the few gripping his cigar that puffs out foul smelling smoke, but even as he was yelling he kept grabbing things outta my arms and setting them to the side before pulling up a chair for me, which was odd

I like the inner kindness deep, deep down within his cactus-like demeanor, as well as the brattiness of the inner monologue! The funny comparison is great too!

"[Old person name] can [superficial characteristic] [add visualization/description]"

"I bet Dolores over there can bend rebar with her tongue with that biker look she's giving the whole room."

@ConansWitchBaby
I do know the characteristics are superficial, and the basic format for describing. But the superficial is important in my story.

This was hilarious! LOL! Thanks!!

 

[Deleted member 84247]

A wrinkled ass bag of potatoes sat on his porch in his rocking chair. He was so old he could have sat next to Jesus in church. The man was a fossil that could make museums line up to put him on display. That's only if you didn't realize he was still breathing. The two gray hairs on his head stood at attention. He grumbled at every car that drove by, and grabbed a handful of snuff, stuffing his mouth with that sweet glass. He waited for the sweet nicotine release that was barely enough to give him a headache; not even enough to put his ass in a coma.

The man wore the same red plaid shirt as always. Teenagers driving by would say he looked like Freddy Krueger, still wearing those same Dickey's he put on years ago.



I was going to continue, but I got bored. My two neurons were firing on all cylinders.

 

[Ellieporter]

You brat ????

 

[Rhaps]

You brat ????

 

[NotaNuffian]

Skin saggy and flappy with shaky walks.

The crutch struck the ground with disdain as the hunched figure moved

Moldy spots like dalmatian, a lot less cute with the perpetual scowl.

Wrinkles so deep that they threatened to pinch flies that dare venture near these rotting creatures.

 

[Kalliel]

''Now, I'm not an expert on recognizing faces, but he looks kinda old, idk, probably still younger than my father, though.''
Is what my main character would say about a random old man.
Her father is an elf, by the way.

 

[Rhaps]

I gotta need more details on what you want, old old men? Or sexy hot old man?

 

[Alfir]

Define Fossil.
Small due to shrinkage of bones, barely five feet tall, had a head of white hair, the face was weathered, with laugh lines around the eyes and mouth, wields a frying pan to smack alligators with, hands were covered in age spots, but the grip was still strong.

 

[SRB]

You know, you can tell how old people are not only by their appearance, it's also very noticeable in their behavior. Sometimes you can understand just by the way a person says something that they are as old as the world. That grumpy Gus could very well talk like a true old man, but still look like he's 30.

I know enough old people to know how they speak, but I doubt I can convey this feeling in English. After all, I don't have enough life experience and knowledge of... well, your novel's culture.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

You know, you can tell how old people are not only by their appearance, it's also very noticeable in their behavior. Sometimes you can understand just by the way a person says something that they are as old as the world. That grumpy Gus could very well talk like a true old man, but still look like he's 30.

I know enough old people to know how they speak, but I doubt I can convey this feeling in English. After all, I don't have enough life experience and knowledge of... well, your novel's culture.

I feel like I've got a good grasp on the mannerisms, but as for appearances, nooot so much.

 

[RynnTheTired]

Comparisons to animals can be a good method to evoke a certain look and feel without spending too much time on description.

"Sitting across from his mother was an elderly man in a doctor's uniform who bore a strong resemblance to a wrinkled old tortoise." (example from one of my stories)

Some other "old-looking" animals you could use are vultures (stooped over), bulldogs (gruff personality), pugs (wrinkled and pudgy-looking), bloodhounds (gloomy look), hairless cats (wrinkled and grumpy-looking)...or for something a bit more insulting, naked mole rats (bald, wrinkled, and ugly).

 

[Dia779]

Something or someone old af

 

[RepresentingWrath]

How do you describe... how do I say this politely...
Has-beens.
I have realized that the physical appearance of old people is not something I describe... at all. They are always youthful-looking immortals in my main story, but for a liverspotted, wrinkled old man, how would you go about describing his scraggely, white combover or the ever-popular-with-the-ladies grumpy Gus on a porch persona? (practicing how to be an asshole for one of my character's personas. Am I succeeding? Advice on either being the classic brat - but keep-in-mind, he does have a tragic past - or on describing old people, I'm good with either.
@Lloyd @SailusGebel You guys have practice, right?

 

[ThrillingHuman]

???

 

[MintiLime]

Old person
Example:

The lines of of time are weathered into the stone face. The remarkable resemblance to the gargoyle’s visage speaks of one now designated to watch from a dated, antiquated perspective as the roaring river of life rushes forward to form white water rapids. Yarns of the story-telling sort spill from the puckered mouth while wrinkled, knobby hands click and clack with needles moving quicker than the eyes can see. The skill of a lifetime pours into a scarf made of itchy yet warm wool for an unappreciative grandchild. Liver, not livor, spots the face and hands where soon true mortis may dwell. The top of the skull is as threadbare as the clothes that hang on the skeletal frame. Eyes tinged with melancholy and tiredness grow ever more droopy until one day they will close forever, locked in a dream of when colors were brighter.

Old person
Example:

The lines of of time are weathered into the stone face. The remarkable resemblance to the gargoyle’s visage speaks of one now designated to watch from a dated, antiquated perspective as the roaring river of life rushes forward to form white water rapids. Yarns of the story-telling sort spill from the puckered mouth while wrinkled, knobby hands click and clack with needles moving quicker than the eyes can see. The skill of a lifetime pours into a scarf made of itchy yet warm wool for an unappreciative grandchild. Liver, not livor, spots the face and hands where soon true mortis may dwell. The top of the skull is as threadbare as the clothes that hang on the skeletal frame. Eyes tinged with melancholy and tiredness grow ever more droopy until one day they will close forever, locked in a dream of when colors were brighter.

To add the jerk part,

In other words, they are like an antique shop’s china: used, chipped, worse for the wear, and useless on top of all that.

 

[Lloyd]

Just call them a wrinkly old bag of bones and be done with it, and don't forget that old people smell.

 

[LunaSoltaer]

Fuel reserve.