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sorry, but I intend to write a Light Novel format, not western style novel. It seems like your narration style leans to that part, on which I humbly apologize if I didn't tell sooner. I am actively aware that "show not tell" is infinitely superior, but Light Novels are not written like that...

the organization was created for him alone, not to contain monsters like him. they were afraid that Soru might indiscriminately kill if no one would stand up and mitigate the casualties. Soru was still a kindergarten student, and of course the organization only established at a early stages. i...

i mean, he's too full of himself and forgot it's a battlefield: anything can happen. he was effortless when fighting the other three, and got distracted even once and got himself dead. in short, are you implying that I need to shorten sensory details? or keep the action concise? wouldn't it...

it is kind of misleading if you didn't actually know the context, I understand that HAHAHHAHA!

mine's just a basic transmigration story but with 2 main characters. the one mentioned above was the main, while the other's a deuteragonist. about my main character, well he's: >true neutral in personality (neither good or bad, i hate picking sides tbh. got tired of it ages ago) >his power is...

what genres you prefer tho? maybe it suits your taste.

maybe he/she likes probing around? let them be HAHAHA

this is still a disclosed information (need minor revision due to clunky narrative lol) I wanna know if his backstory is interesting enough for you readers to learn and follow his character progression.

oh, sorry. i didn't include the mid-fight scene but only the climax. before that part, he was overwhelming the other 2 who got unconscious before the FMC distracted him. plus yeah, using all strength + enemy got caught off guard and got smashed in the head? it was commendable for him that even...

could you be more specific? by the way I am not actually writing a western-style novel, but a Light Novel where "telling" is more emphasized than "showing" so I am minimizing the sensory details make sense. thanks for the advice and thank you! Unfortunately, I will move my revised version to...

am I doing this right? The moment the hammerhead connected with Agnar’s head, a painful shockwave tore through his body. Blood streamed ceaselessly from the wounds caused by the impact. Such a devastating* blow sent him crashing into the ground, rolling multiple times before coming to a stop.

Action, Adventure, Isekai, Slice of Life, Kingdom Building. wouldn't it create a confusion who's who? there are multiple characters that ganged up to the villain...

Because he barely blocked it (i intend to use graze but that is not how blades react when it receive an impact). he managed to react but not enough to block it completely, hence the edge only had cracked. Plus, the sword still had uses in the ff. chapter so I intentionally spared it cuz if it is...

critique is critique: no matter who's the reader. Appreciate it!

Opinions? LMK if there's lacking... or I overdid it. Thanks in advance!

you started it: you better see it to the end.

the LN readers saying that Tiara Basori is the leading one amongst them. idk she's kinda mid but it's just my opinion.

honestly this is one of the few high-school character in a rom-com anime that i personally liked. he's not some dense mc and very observant to the things that happening around him. him and my cutiepie yanami-san are a perfect partners in crime HAHAHAHA!

Well-said! Thank you! :blob_salute: Regarding your constructive criticism, yeah, their agreement is kind of rushed. But I explained it on later chapter. Here, it said: I already established a backstory (which I moved in future chapters) and apparently, Reika is outgoing with a lot of friends...

Just for the record, yes, I wrote my story to "tell" more than to "show," I know that, and I will say sorry in advance if that bothers you. I just want to ask about my character's personality, judgement, and morals, if they're likeable or not. And if you had time, you can add advice on how to...