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I'm not sure man, I had to read it several times to understand what's happening. I feel dumb.

I am having a hard time following the narrative and the way you place dialogue between the narrative made it hard for me to imagine the scene. another is I think you overuse the word 'I' too much, it felt rather awkward as I read. an example of sentence below, maybe something like below could...

I feel it is decent. The writing flow well, I didn't find anything wrong with Edith and Karina interaction but I had too agree with comment above that this doesn't felt like the first chapter. I know Edith is princess and Karina is her maid and from the way they spoke to each other Edith is...