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I forgot to add although I agree some parts need to be reduced in size but isn't description of the scene required to paint a better picture for the reader? Yes thank you for the feedback, I totally agree with everything you've said. Definitely expanding on the small details and the missing...

Ah thank you I think I understand that yea. Tbf when I did read over it personally I thought it was fine but I guess that can be quite too much for the opening and other times. I think just have a habit of over explaining. Thank you for the advice

This is my first time writing anything serious and I really want to receive some more feedback as I have asked my friend for it and they said that it's not great it's not awful and idk that feedback just feels meh. But to be fair it's only 2 chapters so far I will say that. Here's the link