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Those are some very valid points, and I feel like I could have done a better job expressing some things in the first chapter. Part of me felt like I needed to be sure I was being clear, but perhaps I was being TOO straightforward with some of the descriptions being obvious. Part of me wants to...

I would appreciate input. While I've read many stories, this is my first attempt at getting a proper story written down and actually getting to the point I would share it with others. As there isn't a whole lot more TO read after the first chapter at the moment, knowing a first impression and...