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  1. Avery_Line

    Post your YT frontpage.

    That is also my YT homepage. Well done.
  2. Avery_Line

    Check out my story and tell me what you think

    No problem, good luck with the story!
  3. Avery_Line

    Asking for beta readers?

    Not in my opinion. Providing critiques is one of the quickest paths that helped me towards refining my own writing. Many online crit groups have a requirement that you earn your crits by critiquing others. It is a quality control measure that works well.
  4. Avery_Line

    Your story vs my story

    My story is better.
  5. Avery_Line

    Question about rewording an entire story

    If it's not too personal to ask, why are you planning to remaster your story? Knowing a bit more would help with advice. I once rewrote a complete novel three times. It was unsatisfying each time. I finally realized what the story is about, and everything clicked. The fourth rewrite is going...
  6. Avery_Line

    Patreon Cameos?

    In really hoping it's your big break... what? Or did you mean "I'm really hoping"...? I have never heard of people offering chapters on PayPal. PayPal is not a marketplace, and has no means to offer digital products for sale that I'm aware of. So I wouldn't say that's the normal way. I don't...
  7. Avery_Line

    Asking for beta readers?

    The beta readers I've always found (and been) come from three places: crit groups, author bootcamps, or online support groups such as NaNoWriMo, pitch madness, writers helping writers, etc. In each of these cases they are communities where I established credibility by reading and critiquing...
  8. Avery_Line

    Request feedback on the last chapter

    POV hijinks are a real PITA, at least for me. It took a long time to get my brain around it and it still is not second nature. Unless you are really nuanced and know all the rules inside and out, writing a scene with dual POV is not recommended. "A bit of Beta's and a bit of the Narrator's POV"...
  9. Avery_Line

    Request feedback on the last chapter

    I know nothing about the story or anything else you've written, so this is a hot take. You're writing in third person omniscient, past tense, which is a really common format, but requires some care to keep it feeling immediate. Particularly when you are using past tense to describe events that...
  10. Avery_Line

    How deep is your Worldbuilding?

    In reality, building my world took years. Like many people posted here, I have maps and travel guides and magical systems and such. Detailed mythologies and ancient texts. I desperately wish someone had told me (and they probably did, I wish I had listened) to do as little world building as...
  11. Avery_Line

    Feedback for the beginning of my story

    I really like the conceit of writing from the perspective of a diary. I don't think I've ever seen an epistolary novel where one of the correspondents is the actual "letter" itself. Sentient paper. It's a neat hook. I feel like this story repeats itself too much. For example, the diary asking...
  12. Avery_Line

    Looking for Feedback on Dual Levelling: I Level Up with My Clones – Action, Characters, and Clones

    Your synposis is better than most. You have a tight character focus with personal stakes, and an emotion (sad.) So right there you're ahead of most. I suggest you ditch the rhetorical questions and instead end with a hook. Your first chapter is, to say the least, confusing. I'm guessing "Allow...
  13. Avery_Line

    I would like feedback on the first few chapters of my novel.

    I read the first chapter, and here's what I noticed: Third person omniscient has fallen out of favor in the last forty years or so. For two reasons in particular: it is distancing to the reader, and it is difficult to do well. Both of those are affecting your story. As for distance, we get...
  14. Avery_Line

    How to get good at writing

    Critique others. Read good books, but critically. Don't just read them, but deconstruct what the author did right. With a dozen critiques under your belt, and having analyzed a good model book or two, sit down with your own story and write/edit it with specific goals in mind, such as: 1) Did...
  15. Avery_Line

    Does a story need a theme?

    People see faces in tree trunks, piles of laundry, rocks, or whatever. The mind is always putting together connections to form cohesion out of data. If you truly have no theme to a work, people are going to put one in. If you do put a theme in, people still might draw a different conclusion...
  16. Avery_Line

    Writing How do you get through the dreaded middle point?

    I start with the ending. Where is everything going to end up? That gives me the tail end of each character's emotional arc, growth and the final result (good or bad) of their personal stakes and conflict. Put a beginning state for each character's emotional arc. Put the starting point for...
  17. Avery_Line

    You ever get intimidated with a book idea? Like you won't be able to do it justice?

    Ira Glass did a now-famous interview with advice for beginner creatives. He said he wished someone had told him when starting out that creatives have a gap between refined good taste and their ability to execute that result. What makes us so right for what we do also poisons the well at first...
  18. Avery_Line

    Asking for feedback on world setting idea

    This seems like a hybrid of world building and prose. As a reader, I'm hoping and praying that none of that detail is going to be dumped on me in a prologue or first chapter. I'd be noping out so hard I'd get a papercut. As for the prose, I am likewise quite wary. There are almost no...
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