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Thank you for the feedback I really appreciate it. Especially about dialogue that's very helpful. I understand how unclear speakers can make the reading experience confusing, and I will pay more attention to making sure the speaker is clearly established before or within the dialogue paragraph...

I have edited and revised chapters 1-10. May I ask for feedback? Edit: I revised again chapter 1-5 , I found repeated words https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2254566/grim-mirth-the-clown-system/

I think it's okay to take harsh criticism, I don't think I'll ever stop writing just because of that. Wait... Are you FUTA.?! Its ok to be Futa there were many people who like Futa, both man and woman

Thanks for the advice guys

Cause, I really like make or read the story, if the feedback make me improve at it, why not

Thanks, i will do it

I haven't fixed anything other than the synopsis after receiving your feedback. But if you still want to read it, please do

Don't underestimate Jævâ, Jævâ is the center of the world, and Java is the key. Especially Jögja and sœlœ

Cause, I'm The Son. The Chosen One and I m also The Forgotten One. With MBG and 19 Mill Job I will make the world remember me

1.i think I did something like Aether, first off I write in my mother language and translate it into English, after that I edit the text if I notice that certain phrases don’t match my original intent, or if the translation changes the concept or the atmosphere that I want. And for some...

Jack Wilson was just an ordinary clown — the kind you might see at a children's party or a small park performance. Until the day he woke up in another person's body… in a world that was not his own. A world where danger hides in the shadows, and extraordinary beings walk unseen beneath the...

is it still too much? What do you think, should I change the whole thing or try to reduce it? I will fix it later for now I have to work for my small salary😭 and for the synopsis what should be improved?

19 million job opening, where? Oh, I forgot about that. Yes, if you don't give me honest feedback, my promise of 19 million jobs will be lost. Sorry don't know bout that I will edit later

Really, I appreciate it if you still doing it As Vice President, I order you to review my story and give me your honest opinion, or you'll lose your MBG quota. Edit: Just kidding. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2254566/grim-mirth-the-clown-system/

Thank you, I’m really glad you enjoyed the story. I truly appreciate the review — it helps a lot. I wish you the best with your writing as well, and I look forward to reading more of your future stories.

Thanks for the feedback. I’ve revised some of the earlier chapters to improve the reading flow. I’d appreciate it if you could let me know whether the fragmented style still feels overused.

Thank you for the feedback. I understand that this writing style may not appeal to every reader, and I truly appreciate you pointing out the readability aspect. I created this thread specifically to receive criticism and improve the story, so feedback like this is very helpful. After receiving...

Thank you for the feedback. My writing style intentionally uses short, fragmented sentences as part of the atmosphere I’m trying to create. I was partly inspired by the rhythm found in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, where repetition and sentence fragmentation are used to build psychological...

Hi, since I finished my work earlier than expected, I’ve already read your story and left a review. The story is very interesting, and the body horror elements are especially well done. It even gave me some ideas for my own story, so thank you.