Scribble Hub Forum

This is Fairemont, reporting for 25 Eyewitness news: Faire and Balanced. In a shocking turn of events, attorneys have delivered notice to AnonUnlimited on behalf of JayMark, claiming that AnonUnlimited has slandered his "noble" reputation. The attorney cites the victim's status as a lifelong virgin as their defense.

Objection! My client is not a lifelong virgin? (or is he?) *looks at anon*

but my client is indeed impotent! Therefore he could not have fathered that child! I suspect the worm did asexual reproduction and my client is being maliciously slandered for this misunderstanding!

This is Fairemont, reporting for 25 Eyewiteness news: Faire and balanced. Recent updates have shed new light on the case involving JayMark and AnonUnlimited. The attorneys for JayMark have updated their notice, now stating that JayMark is not only a lifelong virgin, but woefully impotent. With this information at hand, they boldly state that there is no way anyone could expect him to father a child.

We understand our viewers may find it hard to believe that such a charming, handsome individual could be such a colossal disappointment in the bedroom, but we vow to provide you with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as it comes to light. Stay tuned!

but... but I'm an attorney for @AnonUnlimited !! am not in any way representing jaymark(unless, they pay me more than anon, then I'm on their side)

Breaking News! The attorneys for JayMark have just switched sides and are now supporting AnonUnlimited! (This could not have been an error by our Faire and Balanced reporters)!

tbh... I expect this with media... typical media butchering up facts!

Due to recent statements by AnonUnlimited's attorneys, the Attorneys of 25 Eyewiteness news: Faire and Balanced, will be bringing a lawsuit for slander against the attorneys of AnonUnlimited for slanderous statements made to disenfranchise and confuse our viewers. 25 Eyewiteness News wants all of our viewers to know we have only the best in mind for them.

(The attorney representing anon might agree to an amicable cooperation with the faire and keep the lawsuit for misinformation under wraps if we agree to represent anon in a more favorable light. You don't need to lie or anything. Just show good facts or two about anon while hiding or devaluation bad facts. It's how most media manipulate the public)

I am 100% a life long virgin!

If it helps my case.

Also the media is not slandering me.. cough.. ? cough…

25 Eyewitness News: Faire and Balanced, accepts a working agreement over the ongoing case, and will agree to drop out own suit in lieu of recent admissions (???)

I make a motion to have the "Praise Anon" thread frozen so there is no deletion of evidence.
I make a motion to have the Paternity fraud charges dismissed on the basis of the official paternity test results.

I hearby plea for a jury of my peers due to wrongful harm suffered from brainworm feeding.
I was to seek damages for pain and suffering, not of having 7/9ths of my brain eaten, but being forced to praise AnonUnlimited.
I seek restoration of the 10000 likes removed from my account.
I make a motion for minimal child support. ( Brain worms are surprisingly low maintenance.)

Now wait a minute! First of all, I'd like to address to the jury that the paternity test holds no legal bindings of genuineness as it was neither performed by licensed professional nor can we assure that it's completely unbiased

Besides, I'd like to press further charges for fraud because my client @AnonUnlimited has never given his explicit written permission for his samples to undergo a DNA testing! It's a violation of his privacy!

Well, your honor, I'd like to file a motion to have this case dismissed on the grounds that JayMark isn't the pregnant entity. The proper defendant in this case is one Mogg-Dell Beef Ear Pie.