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And then they fuck

And then he tells her to sleep on the floor like a real man!

They will die before entering the hotel. Even if they survived, they would suffer from radiation until their lives would feel worse than death.

Actually, that's not how radiation works.

Plot armor protects them from the heat wave, and pressure wave, and radiation until the quirky one bed scene happens. After that they're cooked.

That's not how radiation works. Everyone knows radiation gives main characters mutations. Only the NPCs get cooked. He would turn into a muscle daddy and she would turn into a muscle mommy. They would then form a muscle parent colony.

Then they would fuck, often.