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I once wore a purple tie dyed shirt I thought was so cool during a heat wave. The dye ran off from me sweating non-stop in near 40c weather and my arms turned this bruised shade of purple. I thought I was dying for half a day until I realized what it was.

Buy a red toothpaste to really shock yourself awake

Once, I got sick with a really bad cough.

Needless to say, I'm coughing blood. I thought I was dying...

...doctor comes in and says, "You injured your throat and is wounded."

My mom broke two ribs from coughing. Don't underestimate the cough.

Nah, I thought that one's gonna end me. Turns out tis just my asthma.