I think I need to clarify myself, I thought maybe you were having a bad time and being in a bad mood, leading to weird thoughts. Hence my advice on improving the things that can affect your mood in a positive way.
@RedMuffin Now that you say that, I can see where you are coming from. But, that's not the case unfortunately. It's not just a bad time I'm going through. I'm growing up to realize I already accepted my fate without even trying to fight back.