Scribble Hub Forum

[2/?] But it really makes me feel like, I'm doing something wrong to attract people with these expectations, and after many many chapters they didn't seem to get what I was trying to do, so it makes me feel like I've failed at conveying what kind of story it's meant to be, and that I'm not really going for wish fulfillment, instead

[3/?] I'm exploring my character's thoughts a lot, and how a flawed, average person, who doesn't have the skills of a pro gramer, or the will to grind 24hrs in a mmo, or a great memory or anything else other Main Characters possess, just a normal, somewhat lazy person with a few mental hangups, is doing in this weird situation she's now in.

[4/?] I dunno, I just can't help but feel like I've failed fundamentally. Especially when, she goes on about clothes for a while and they seemed to dislike that, saying she spent a whole chapter getting dressed, when, it's one of the girly things she gets to do now and she's all into it, it's a part of the story, doing girly things.

[1] Hmm... well, anytime you throw yourself out there, prepare for harsh criticism. Expectations are generally based on your blurb. Let’s take the final line for example.

she must learn the language, explore, reconcile her relationship with death, life, & love, but most of all, survive, for the world is not a game.

[2]
1. Learn the language -> an obstacle readers will expect her to work on
2. Explore -> Vague. This can mean anything, so not much to draw from.
3. Reconcile her relationship with death, life, and love -> obstacles readers expect her to work on
4. Survive, for the world is not a game -> this last part sets the tone of the story.

[3] Now within that last line, you’ve told the readers what to expect. Have you worked to meet those specific expectations? Are there some things you can add to this line that they may not expect, but are there?

Lets look at some of the challenges you want to convey from this post and a little I know from the story.

[4]
1. Learn the language
2. Overcome the trauma of her murder because of the lack of acceptance.
3. Learn to accept her new reality, her new body, and finally do the things she’s dreamt of doing
4. Find a way to survive in a dangerous world

Can the last line be edited?

[5] She must overcome the trauma of her murder, learn how to accept her new reality, enjoy all the pleasures that come with the body she’s always wanted, and survive, for the world is not a game. Now, if only she could find a way around the pesky language barrier.

Now, if only she could find a way around that pesky language barrier. -> This sets the tone.

[6] So in this, you are telling the readers there’s a psychological aspect. She’ll struggle to cope with this new world. She’ll explore all the things that come with her new body. It lets them know the world is dangerous, but at the same time, there will be some light-hearted moments.