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Was he carrying the evidence with his cheeks? or was he rubbing the evidence with his cheeks? or did he use a literal ass to carry the evidence?

The possibilities are endless.

To aid in your search I offer mention of the figure of speech of "half-assing" a given subject.

He can hold the documents with only one cheek? That's cheeky!

So the evidence will be too radishing

No idea what you're talking about.