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I was doing really well, I was getting better.
Socializing more, using voice chat (something that I hated since we met), playing games together every day.
Until it happened.
I don't want to bother you with the random drama, random lurker, but essentially:

Someone, who I already didn't like, showed their true colors, and I banned them.
My friend, we were involved somewhat romantically, it's complicated, but they defended them and said they wanted them back, wanted "everything to go back as it was".
I left the server and blocked them, drifted off across servers, and uninstalled Discord.

Everything became worse.
My depression got worse than it was before I was improving.
I shut myself inside, I think it has been a year since I left my apartment.
And everything I loved doing just didn't bring me joy anymore.

I swear to God, I was doing so well.
Taking medicine, going to therapy, not thinking about suicide every day.
But it takes one fucking idiot to ruin everything.

And now that I think I'm ready, the universe throws me another shitburger.
I can't go back to my Discord account and talk to my friends.

Maybe I'll just create another one, some of them I will be able to contact through another platforms (Xbox, Steam, Twitter maybe)
But I don't know... It made me so disappointed.

It's not the first time I try to take the first step, just to step in dog shit.
I know it's my illogical depressive autistic anxious brain telling me, but it's like there's a force outside of my control not letting me be happy.

In conclusion:
Fuck Discord.

And I really miss my friends.

I get you, I often just leave Discord for months due to that very reason.

Heck, I may end up abandoning all the internet if I feel like it.

However, I reckon my reasons for doing so have evolved over the years.

And thanks for reading, I guess.

@Alseki.
yeah, I left SHF one time because I was (am) using as a substitute for human interaction and it was getting really unhealthy for me

Although I never really thought of any social media as a substitute for human interaction, I get the need to have some.

I don't think I am a very sociable person, but if you ever felt like having a conversation, you can hit me up, you seem like a pretty cool person :).

thanks man!!
btw I just noticed that you have the discord logo as a profile picture
it didn't even register to me, I thought it was a default picture

Well as someone who loves isolation a lot I don't really get it (on a emotional level), but still I understand it, I really like drama.

do you go outside?

it's a genuine question, I'm not trying to be mean

I only go outside when I must go outside, I rarely wander through forests where there are no humans around.

that's the difference between you and me. I can't go outside at all.

amongst other differences...