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you're about to shit god and piss satan

The rapture has come! My ass has become one of the bowls of wrath to be poured into the earth. The gas fumes blown out of my ass signal the end times as a trumpet of the angels. My toilet a horse of famine, war, judgement, and death. I hear a knocking at the door. My time has come. Wait... It was just my neighbor. They are asking to see if I am okay because they can hear me from downstairs.

i too enjoying torturing myself from time to time. my body has zero tolerance for hot food, yet every once in a while I'll have some nice extra spicy chicken.
godspeed, and let the cleansing begin.