Blood of the Were-Raptor Hero: Chapter 10 Feedback!

MC-Stories

The Wandering Dragon Storyteller
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Would Love to hear your input for this chapter!
#10- The Epidemic!

For the next two weeks, i've gotten used to my new job as a superhero, as Ms. Raptor, i've made quite a name for myself.

At School, things got better as well, Minnie and Shao are now officially a couple, they're never apart, and Shao's view of Blanks have changed drastically.

But, if there is one thing my dad taught me is that Fate can be a raging bitch..

The Typopvirus, a virus that originated in the Ox Empire, somehow found it's way to the Hydra Empire, it's a slow, creeping, flesh-eating virus that causes the body to break out in painful, pus-leaking crater-like sores that grow as time progresses, slowly eating away at the body until the victim dies.

Metahumas are immune to the illness, as the Omega Gene boosts their immune system greatly, but Blanks are at risk, Currently, scientists are going crazy trying to find a cure, but to no avail.

Mom, was amoung those affected, so the house had to be quarentined, luckly, Shao's family welcomed me with open arms, it turns out my father saved Shao's grandfather long ago, and this was their way of repaying him, Shao didn't mind really as he saw me as like a sister now.

The next day, Minnie and i made our way to the hospital to visit Mom.

When we got to her room, mom was lying on her bed.

"Hey Mom, how are you feeling?" i asked.

Mom turned to face us, revealing the horror that the Typopvirus was capable of, half of her face was riddled with painful holes all over.

Minnie was queasy, but stood her ground, thankful that she was a Metahuman.

"Hello sweetie, yes, i'm fine, the painkillers are helping." Mom said.

I told Mom about all that has happened, how Minnie and Shao got their licenses, how i beat the crap out of some kidnappers.

"Your father would be proud." Mom said.

After a while, the doctor came and told us that Mom needs rest.

As we left the hospital, Minnie comforted me, "I'm sure the scientists will find a cure for this.." she said.

I smiled, she was right, we just needed to be patient....

Chapter End.
 

Rolanov

Kin-Slayer
Joined
Jan 22, 2026
Messages
168
Points
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Would Love to hear your input for this chapter!
#10- The Epidemic!

For the next two weeks, i've gotten used to my new job as a superhero, as Ms. Raptor, i've made quite a name for myself.

At School, things got better as well, Minnie and Shao are now officially a couple, they're never apart, and Shao's view of Blanks have changed drastically.

But, if there is one thing my dad taught me is that Fate can be a raging bitch..

The Typopvirus, a virus that originated in the Ox Empire, somehow found it's way to the Hydra Empire, it's a slow, creeping, flesh-eating virus that causes the body to break out in painful, pus-leaking crater-like sores that grow as time progresses, slowly eating away at the body until the victim dies.

Metahumas are immune to the illness, as the Omega Gene boosts their immune system greatly, but Blanks are at risk, Currently, scientists are going crazy trying to find a cure, but to no avail.

Mom, was amoung those affected, so the house had to be quarentined, luckly, Shao's family welcomed me with open arms, it turns out my father saved Shao's grandfather long ago, and this was their way of repaying him, Shao didn't mind really as he saw me as like a sister now.

The next day, Minnie and i made our way to the hospital to visit Mom.

When we got to her room, mom was lying on her bed.

"Hey Mom, how are you feeling?" i asked.

Mom turned to face us, revealing the horror that the Typopvirus was capable of, half of her face was riddled with painful holes all over.

Minnie was queasy, but stood her ground, thankful that she was a Metahuman.

"Hello sweetie, yes, i'm fine, the painkillers are helping." Mom said.

I told Mom about all that has happened, how Minnie and Shao got their licenses, how i beat the crap out of some kidnappers.

"Your father would be proud." Mom said.

After a while, the doctor came and told us that Mom needs rest.

As we left the hospital, Minnie comforted me, "I'm sure the scientists will find a cure for this.." she said.

I smiled, she was right, we just needed to be patient....

Chapter End.
I think it's pretty clear and straight forward. The superheroes are immune to that Typopvirus that originate from Ox Empire. Sadly the MC's mom was infected and now they should wait the scientist to find the cure. You write it very clear and easy to understand.
 

MC-Stories

The Wandering Dragon Storyteller
Joined
Dec 2, 2025
Messages
165
Points
43
I think it's pretty clear and straight forward. The superheroes are immune to that Typopvirus that originate from Ox Empire. Sadly the MC's mom was infected and now they should wait the scientist to find the cure. You write it very clear and easy to understand.
Thank you, I appreciate that!
 
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