Just for the record, yes, I wrote my story to "tell" more than to "show," I know that, and I will say sorry in advance if that bothers you.
I just want to ask about my character's personality, judgement, and morals, if they're likeable or not. And if you had time, you can add advice on how to solidify your suggested traits to them. Or if their established personality is enough for you, could give me a word or two on how to improve them in order to stick with that personality further?
here's the link. thanks, y'all!
@Eldoria @Omarfaruq sorry for tagging y'all i will assume you had your opinions
here it is.
Alrighty then... so, gonna treat your request with the specifics on personality, judgement, morals, likeability, and how you can improve them. Thing is, I might be biased about that, so take my opinions and mix what you like with whatever anyone else has to say. Sound like a plan?
Okay, we got Reika Mitsuha and Shin Soru. Interesting names. Let's begin with Reika, shall we?
So when it comes to her personality, she's definitely reactive. Like, she feels things out first and processes it later. Oh, and she is expressive, like with the monsters? You know, she panicked. But that's just one case. The others are when she starts to cry or apologizes. I like the apology part because she is also reflective on things... even when she gets angry at Soru. So I guess that also makes herself judgmental but sort of self-correcting; that is an emotion-driven character with an intuition on morality.
Oh, hey, she even empathizes with the villagers, so that's a point too and it's pretty coherent. I mean, you are telling rather than showing, so it's easy to do write that out plainly for us. Doing some more showing would make this deeper, though. Like, I mean, she's got a core Spiderman value on responsibility with "If you can save people, you should" gist. And it also acts like a flaw too because her perspective is that it should be a view shared universally.
Yeah, I'd say she's likable too. The reason why is because she is relatable with her confusions, fears, and whatever pisses her of. Now is that a good thing? Meh. We have quite a few stories with characters like that; she's a moral compass who is practically the foil of that stoic Shin. Honestly, though, if I were to offer how to improve her, I'd say push her reasons further whenever she argues with Shin. Right now, I get why she thinks everybody should default to her logic, but it makes more sense that when she encounters somebody who doesn't share her worldview, she needs to explain her POV better. You know, make her convictions sharper so that the next time she takes a stab at Shin, it actually digs in and sticks.
Like I said, her moral compass, how she is managing it, is also her flaw.
Now then, let's get to this Shin Soru fella... kind of volatile, ain't he? Like, we already see he's the stoic type, but he's also detached in a way. What I mean by that is he's really hyper-logical and focused on efficiency. That guy is emotionally absent, practically; zero compassion, all optimization.
Also... a twig? He uses that to choose directions? Alright, whatever floats his boat. But the way he
doesn't react towards death and restrains himself until it is necessary? I think he even said something like those who die are not his concern or something. Like, yeesh. Yeah, I meant it when I said he's Reika's foil.
This guy doesn't feel the same obligations as she does, and that is a show, not a tell. But I ain't saying his morals are misaligned, otherwise why would he save Reika or the villagers? He's got a heart, just that he doesn't feel compelled to prevent all the suffering in the world.
I guess you could label him a schizoid, but... eh. I really don't like that. Like, I get it that you are using that to explain his lack of emotions and also to justify his detachment, but people with that disorder do have empathy. Morality exists and it isn't something we are born with, we are taught it, and as far as I am aware, he's not cognitively impaired. So, yeah, I'm gonna be okay with his emotional detachment, but he isn't a sociopath. If you go that route, you're gonna be creating not just a flaw, but make him unlikable because of how shallow he may be.
Actually, let's get into his likability now that I am on that topic. I'm sure there are folks who enjoy the overpowered stoic type, and that moral friction he has against Reika may catch an interest, and I do know there are readers who will like the fact that he prefers competence over emotional drama. But there are gonna be others who don't like how cold he is because some out there are seeking warmth in characters. I mean, this care literally has a glued plaque on his head stating how little he cares about human life.
Detachment. You know, I hear that if we can identify a character in one word, it makes them stronger somehow. And detachment really does define this fella. But if you wanna improve him? Look, we need to see his priorities. Like how much does he value efficiency when compared to other things like stability or curiosity? Yeah, curiosity is a factor because progress starts with that. And you should probably focus a little on that curiosity from him with Reika... I don't mean getting him closer or something like that, but clarifying what already exists.
Speaking of what exists, I'd personally like to see what his lack of feelings costs him. Like does he misunderstand grief or miscalculates situations because he intentionally ignores emotional variables? Stuff like that because what he sees as his strengths should also come with consequences.
Let's make a scenario out of this. So when he delays saving the villagers, we, as readers, should be seeing whether he was testing his limits or waiting for threat confirmations, or maybe minimizing exposure. Let's see why he is doing this as it is costing potential lives. If we understand his reasoning, even when we may disagree with his choices, maybe we can respect him more, you know?
Or did I interpret that wrong? Lemme know.
Now, overall, the pair of them together works. Reika is the opposite of Shin. The only thing I don't like is how quickly they resolve their conflicting views. Like when she confronts him and he explains? What does she do?
She apologizes and the partnership continues.
Seriously, if you wanna keep this nice dynamic between them, don't fix the issues in a single conversation, okay? Let them disagree and misread each other because their moral frameworks do clash and that will affect their future decisions. If you continue to have the both of them on the same page, it makes their own personalities irrelevant. Give them time to grow together; a tree that takes roots around a stiff pole can grow naturally around it.
Hope that helps.
