Another Feedback Thread

I’m working on a dark, gritty action story where the combat is the main focus and the plot is built around survival, money, and the consequences of fighting. I’d like feedback on whether the opening chapters achieve the tone and clarity I’m aiming for.

sbdrag said:

To be clear, this is still open! Im just approaching my last two weeks in this college semester, so I'll be catching up once Im through, most likely!

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Understood, thanks! I hope those last two weeks went great. Undergrad was a long time ago for me but I still remember the stress and tension of finals week like it happened last month.

Thanks alot for doing this. I'd like to hear your thoughts on mine.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2041938/the-revenant/

Hey.

I love the Cultivation/Xianxia genre, but I often struggle with the stiff dialogue. So, for my first fiction, I decided to try something different.

The Premise: A burned-out, cynical assassin is forced to escort a princess with zero talent.

The Twist: instead of the usual flowery prose, I'm writing it with a gritty, "Raymond Chandler" style narration. Deep internal monologue, street slang, and a lot of cynicism.

I’m looking for feedback on:

The Banter: Does the chemistry between the two leads land?
The Voice: Is the "Noir" tone too dry for a fantasy setting?

I'm rather pleased with the performance of my first attempt to create an erotic fantasy, with plenty of laughs and game-play. I think I succeeded at writing something Scribble Hub actually wants to see. (no furry stories, yay!) ?

Could u give mine a try too. It's my first time writing. I'd really love some feedbacks

I appreciate your feedback

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2024312/veil-of-midnight/