Really depends on what angle you’re going for.
I’m mainly trying to do comedy, so I utilise the first person since I think it’s funnier when you know the characters thoughts about a situation. And it also provides an unreliable narrator.
But I think if there’s action scenes, a third person...
I like it. You have a unique writing style it's kinda like a script but I don't think that's bad however some people may not be able to get into it due to that so I want you to be aware.
The only thing I think is needed is some exposition from what I understand this takes place in a fantasy...