Eldoria's latest activity

Because the main character was a chain smoker and his voice sounded like shit and his mind followed suit with his same grimy voice.

What book(s) do you think has the worst moral or message you've ever heard? For me, I'm gonna have to go with this one: It's a book...

Well, I haven't read it... just read the review. I think WH40K is a good fit for this thread. I mean, what do readers get from a...

I just made revisions to all of these. I also completely changed the turning point with the gun to make it less cringe and more...

I don’t usually engage in back and forth debate about a story I review. But what I’d like to tell you is that all of your responses to...

I figured out how to be a @Macha clone. Just keep making Mpreg jokes.

Hey! I'm an amateur author, and I've never had a review of my story before. I'm trying to write something good and original. It's called...

Dude... I don't want to argue with you about POV. This is my final answer in this thread. If you want the narrator to be the MC, then...

The problem isn't your MC's character, but how the MC's characterization is narrated. You can narrate a calm MC without the narrator...

Dude... you've apparently never dealt with a religious fanatic before. Give it a try!

Take what I say with a grain of salt at least. I already skimmed and read a couple before, and put it down. I am known to do that if the...

When you insert Akuma's routine info dump in the middle of the action, it causes a shift in POV from a limited third POV to an...

Do you have any confusion?

After reading five chapters, I stopped. Here are my general impressions of your narrative based on my reading experience: Your story...

I realized long ago that 95% of people asking for feedback only want someone to read. You have to change the reason you are doing...