Recent content by BeezussWrites

If I messed up anything in my feedback or misunderstood anything, feel free to let me know: 1. I've cried at gaming montages with sad music, so keep that in mind before I continue. I started out pretty uninterested in their relationship. Guy comes in, saves the woman, and then she falls in love...

I’ll start off by saying I’m pretty terrible at writing children characters myself, so I can give you more advice based on how I felt than anything technical. Probably three or four. Affectionate, curious, easily distracted, impulsive possibly, and the innocent lens of the chapter (not fully...

I'm okay with fragments usually, but I feel like you overused them a bit here. Like when you say The arena — the only place where his pouch could get heavier. Why can't it just be The arena was the only place where his pouch could get heavier? And with "He lifted his feet up to see what it was—...

I appreciate you for the feedback. Spending most of my time either at work or learning to write has made me forget how a conversation is supposed to sound, so I'm glad to hear my dialogue made to the okay category at least. As for the tense issues, they just slip my mind and mix together for...

Been working non stop to improve, but it seems like I hit a wall. Be honest with your criticism, but try not to be too harsh because I'm built to cry easily. Also, I love reading stories, so if you wanna drop your story down here for me to review also feel free. I'm terrible at really giving...

They're definitely entertaining, but I don't wanna have small talk with Randy Orton.

Probably been asked before, but how do you make dialog less scripted. I've done that "just say it out loud" stuff that others said, but it still feels stiff when I come back and read it.