Bane89's latest activity

Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my chapters, I’m really glad they pulled you in. I was honestly laughing at your...

If you're still bored I'd appreciate any thoughts on the first few chapters of mine...

I think it depends a lot on what kind of story you're writing. The Hitchcock example is good, but to me the flaw is that there is no...

Personally I like yandere characters when done well, they scratch that 'I can fix her' itch. I also really like the idea of good...

Thank you for reading and for the detailed feedback, I really appreciate it. I understand what you mean about the pacing, especially...

Yeah, not gonna lie. I would have put it down after the first couple paragraphs because I heavily suspected it was AI after seeing the...

It's interesting but you are frontloading a lot of details with no anchor. While this could entirely be a stylistic choice, it depends...

1. Slow burn and starting with a war sounds awesome, just make sure the war stays in their memory for most of the starting chapters and...

If you're writing a slow burn focused on a single character, the most important thing is how to make the reader care about the...

DO NOT. Use that. People risk thinking its AI. Not me, but the possible readers that will try your book maybe will. Idc and idk if its...

Yeah I can see where I went wrong a few ways. The "sense" he lost was his ability to feel cold, and the shower waking him up was...

I read through the draft. It's an interesting concept, sharing a body with some being who wishes you harm. You have what I'd consider...

The person in the carriage is Liriel, and yes it is a memory. I explain it as the chapter continues, but I can see why it's jarring...

I only read the first chapter, but I'll still try to answer your questions. 1. Pacing - i agree with what others have said, it feels a...

That's a bit disappointing, I use em dashes to try to sharpen my prose and avoid overusing commas. But if I'm losing people at the first...