The thread is presently
open for submissions. My trip is now over, so I'm doing crits as a distraction from feeling sad about it being done. Feeling a little more interested in new pieces right now, you might get me to read multiple chapters.
Oh, and I'm going to say it here in the opening:
I accept erotica for critique. Haven't been able to find someone willing to read your smut? Toss it over here and I'll crit it. I believe smut can and should be worked on for quality, both for heat impact and for plot progression.
Common Advice Section:
These are things that are my most common complaints. I'll add more items here over time, this is just the stuff that floats to the top of my mind from multiple pieces I've seen.
- Character, then Action, then Setting
I need to empathize with the character to have an attachment to them in order to care about their conflict. I need action to animate the character that I like and challenge them. I need setting to give something for the character to move through and push off of. Getting these three things in the right one-two-three order helps most beginnings a lot.
- Cut the Prologue
A lot of authors will start with setting - some distant set of godly characters debating the fate of the main protagonist, or an overview of the world, or an "it all started with X" as a retrospective from the characters, etc. I tend to find such things slow and not a good way to hook my interest. I want a viewpoint character that I can empathize with, and by putting setting first, I tend to slide off.
- Failure to "save the cat"
Particularly in darker works with grey morality or villain protagonists, it's necessary to illustrate the protagonist having some redeeming quality in order for me to latch on to them. This is not the case for all readers - gritty things are just generally not my genre - but darker works need to make me empathize with the protagonist somehow, and the best way for them to do that is to show them performing some real kindness for someone or something else. This is the "Save The Cat" of
Save The Cat.
- Failure to read the genre that you're writing in
Generally, when people produce stuff that feels unoriginal, I trace it back to a feeling that they haven't deeply read the genre they're writing in and don't know its conventions well enough to subvert them or put a twist on them.
Read what you write, at least deeply enough to get an idea of what the mainstays of your genre are. Otherwise you'll produce something that's been done a hundred times before.
- Squishy third-person point of view
Third-person point of view needs to sound like it's in the voice of some specific character. For third-person limited, this should be the voice of the character whose thoughts we're following. For third-person omniscient, it should sound like the voice of a specific narrator character, who is distinct from the other characters in the story but follows them at a distance. Such a narrator may be named or unnamed. See
Lemony Snicket of A Series of Unfortunate Events for this done obviously and well.
- Use of epithets
An epithet is something like "the blonde woman" or "the soldier" - a way of referring to a character by their physical traits or position. These are
usually a bad sign, though you can get away with them sometimes in limited third-person. In general, these confuse the reader and make the piece harder to read because the reader has to take a moment longer to process the epithet and decide which character it belongs to. Avoid these where you can, especially ones based on hair colour.
Original OP below:
Good timezone to you all. I am a long-time [~1 decade low intensity, ~5 years high intensity] hobbyist writer, originating in a roleplay and erotic roleplay scene and then branching out towards more long-form pieces. I completed my first novel-length piece worth the name in 2023 and have completed several additional pieces since, ranging from novels to novellas. I specialize in lesbian romance and erotica and have recently moved to Scribblehub from a smaller writing community.
I want to hone my critical eye, so I'm here to offer critiques.
My strengths as a writer are in character work and character relationships; I'm weaker at description and pacing. Keep this in mind regarding my advice.
Rules:
- I will always critique your title, cover, and synopsis (or blurb). I will then read as much of your story as it takes to lose my attention, and critique it up to that point.
- If you turn me off in your first chapter I will try to struggle through to the end of it, but I'll only turn the page and read chapter two if I think it's got something worth reading.
- If you hook me and I enjoy your series, I'll come back to it and read more of it, but reserve the right to stop critiquing at the end of chapter three.
- First come first served. I reserve the right to not review someone's work for any reason, but I'll try to reserve that clause for people who are obvious jerks. Trying to get me to read a 20,000 word novella (or really anything excessively long) by sticking it in as your single first chapter is a jerk move, and will likely result in use of this clause.
- I'll try not to le epic roast you, and if your work has strengths I'll try to point them out. That said, if your work is not enjoyable for me I will tell you that clearly and directly.
- This is a hobby for me, and it may take me time to get to your work, particularly if many people are in line ahead of you. Please be polite and respect my time.
it's a mix of a lot of things but mainly fantasy, comedy, special abilities, academy, and slice-of-life. Some of the chapters (chapter 1 & 2 included) are written in an untrad narrator's voice ? it's deliberate so i hope you're not put off by it. i made the cover myself, planning to change it soon. if there's anything i really need you to go down on, it's the synopsis. idk i feel like it's a bit too ambiguous? please let me know how i can improve on it. also just a disclaimer that my MC is a pathetic twin— i mean, he has really bad anxiety, so again, i hope you're not put off by emotionally weak male MCs. thank you for your time.
www.scribblehub.com
I appreciate you for reviewing so many people's works and giving your insights. I would really like someone to review my writing, but it's fine if you'd rather avoid it. (The chief goal of the writing is to disturb even the target audience, after all.) Thanks again for all you've done! 
